…Ahhh… beauty…Always a topic of conversation in China… and especially in my school office. I know the same happens in every office at one time or another. But the conversations I hear in my office are much different.
Since, I have lived here in the Far East I have seen several very beautiful women and many not so pretty but still interesting to look upon. However, the Chinese definition of beauty is just so strange to me. First of all, a true Beauty must be thin… now I do not mean size 3 or size 4 … I mean… very, very thin… more of a size 0 or smaller… yeah right… A more of a childlike size. The girls here tend to try to sometimes starve themselves just to look emaciated, and skeletal. I saw a woman walking down the street that I just could not believe she could possibly be alive, she was so skinny. I think in my mind how could this be beautiful. Yet, day after day I see girls that are a true size 4 or 5… complain about their weight. Many refuse to eat, or will not touch anything sweet, or claim to be on a diet .. because they feel or are told by their peers and family that they are too fat. And trust me.. they do not say it politely… they just come out and tell people that they are fat… have experienced it a few times myself… and I have come back and said and you are ugly .. what about it… (i just can’t stop being American sometimes)
The next requirement would be… that you be white… yeah.. I know white (rolling my eyes)… the whiter the better… (sound likes something you have heard before?) It seems in China there is a level of whiteness and to be at the highest level you need to always stay out of the sun, keep yourself covered in the summer, use bleaches to lighten your skin and carry an umbrella, Micheal Jackson must have learned from the Chinese.
If you are too dark then you are not considered a beauty, whatever. The more I think about this .. the more I think old southern belles, or slave times when the light-skinned blacks got the jobs in the house… unbelievable.. that people in this century still think this way. I see women all over the world in other countries laying out in the sun to darken their skin, to have that little sun-kissed glow. But in China if your skin is sun-kissed.. then you won’t be man-kissed.
And the last requirement I will list… but is definitely not the final one required. Is Big Eyes… this just cracks me up… BIG EYES…. they want to have big eyes… Now you and I know that what makes Asian people Asian is that they have almond-shaped eyes… and these people want their eyes to be different, bigger… some even get surgeries to make their eyes bigger. I have seen photo-shopped pictures in magazines and on their websites to make their eyes look so big that they remind me of those Japanese Anime Cartoons. All they need is blue hair and they would be twins. Ahhh .. the Chinese folks are some crazy people… their ideal woman will be Skinny, very white with big eyes… hummm….
Makes you want to scream doesn’t it….. Well… I feel that every woman is beautiful, in her own way. No matter if your fat or thin, white or black, or big eyed or small eyed… the beauty is within…. and maybe the Chinese should learn that…..because it has been proven time and time again… that just because a woman is beautiful on the outside does not mean she is beautiful on the inside.
Where does this image of beauty come from I wonder… Why do men in China prefer women to be a beauty not to be intelligent. Is it because of their own low self-confidence… they can’t have a woman who is more than just a pretty face?
I don’t claim to understand it.. and I do not condone it. I am a by Chinese standards big, overweight cow…and I get pointed at, laughed at and stared at as I walk down the street. But you know what… this big ole’ cow has a wonderful, loving husband.. and is very confident, and proud of herself… and most of happy….and THAT.. is what is important…
until next time….
34 comments
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May 16, 2012 at 9:05 am
Amy
I am second-gen Chinese, American-born.
Chinese people prefer pale skin because in the older days, a tanned person meant somebody who was not rich enough to not have to work in the fields. A pale face was a sign of wealth.
Chinese people do not value thinness any more so than Americans. I’m a size four. By both American and Chinese standards, I could afford to slim down.
And as for eyes, eyes are an asset. It should be understandable that Asians, who are naturally graced with smaller eyes, would sometimes go to extremes to make them bigger. At least they generally don’t go for boob jobs, lipo. And I’m sure every magazine photoshops.
You are generallizing an entire country of people made of vastly different backgrounds, beliefs, etc. Just as in America there are rednecks, white supremacists, black nationalists, etc, China has its cut of extremists too. It’s not always what it seems–the pale face aspect is not a racial issue, and being slim I think is a general issue that is not restricted to the Chinese.
Check your facts.
May 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Louise
I found it quite disgusting that you’re comparing China to ” southern belles”. It isn’t because being black is bad its because of a cultural beliefs and old traditions. As a Chinese person I have no problem with being black but I don’t think its a good idea chucking yourself out in the sun, ruining your skin, trying to get a “sun-kissed” glow only to look like you’ve smeared yourself with dirt. Some people believe being white gives you a heavenly glow. The belief is that you have porcelain skin, all smooth and white. It is no difference from wearing stilettos! Some weirdos think its discriminating to short people when it is not! Its like saying skin smoothing cream is bad because it discriminates toads!
February 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Lynn
Interesting post. I was always aware of the Chinese people’s perception of beauty, yet I have only now realized that I have not become victim for not conforming to their standards. I am an ABC and every time I do visit China, I never hear any comments about how “fat” or “large” I am. By western standards, I am a perfectly healthy size 4, ~125 lbs, and 5’5.5″. By Chinese standards, that’s humungous. (I look like a giant next to all my relatives.) In fact, my family are always encouraging me to eat more and put on some weight.
I do wonder if it has to do with the geography of where my Chinese family live as I do notice that there are a lot of other traditional Chinese beliefs that they do not practice/believe in.
February 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm
lifebehindthewall
@Lynn… it does have a lot to do with where you live in China. Northern Chinese people are usually larger, and taller… I have some friends from Xian that are normal sized. But most of the people in Zhejiang Province, Guandong province.. are very small…. so you would stick out if you are too curvy… or have a large butt..Down here… 110 pounds or less… is beautiful.
December 25, 2011 at 11:38 am
Jenni
Hi I’m 15 and live in England. I was born in Taiwan and lived there until I was 5 and am half Chinese and half British. What is considered attractive in Asia is completely different from western cultures. Over in England I am considered a healthy size 8/10 yet it is some what “too fat” over there for flesh and having an ass. Most women seem to have very child like figures. Big eyes are a craze over there mainly due to anime (haha) many even under go surgery to have bigger eyes or wear circle lenses. Double lids are a must for being considered “beautiful”. A double lid is basically a double crease/fold on the eyelid as it also helps to make your eyes appear larger, more attractive. White skin appeals to both men and women as it shows a sign of wealth. People who have tanned to dark skin are categorised as labourers – poor people. There is a huge hype over Korean culture right now, many aspire to look like Koreans, all pale, sickeningly skinny with large eyes.
November 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm
john
Britany spears meets all these criteria, “or used to” back when she done “hit me baby one more time” all the girls were jealous of her and all the guys wanted to date her. yeah, chinese are no different than every other race.
October 7, 2011 at 11:09 am
Frances from the Philippines
I am from the Philippines and I must say whitening products here sell very very well. For the most part, we inherited the “white is beautiful” idea from our great-grandparents who were around during the Spanish era in the Philippines. They were around for 300 years and made no mistake in making sure the Filipinos look to their race as superior. I am happy to say, though, that as of late, more and more Filipinas are embracing their natural color, which, I must say is just the perfect shade between white and dark. I do support staying out of the sun, though, or at least using sunscreen, because too much sun exposure does age the skin a lot no matter what color it naturally is.
September 22, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Jade
Yes, this article is very true but we have the opposite crazy thing over here in north america with people going tanning and fake frying to get some colour, which too be honest is more crazier than the trying to go light thing…at least if you’re going whiter u won’t give urself skin cancer! lol
I’m chinese and I’m very dark skin. thank god i don’t live in china because I am often mistaken for Filipina especially with my big eyes. I don’t think those standards are that important here in north america for chinese because many of them tell me i am pretty and that the dark skin suits me, which it does and i like it better than the pale ghost look! I am a size 3/4 and Chinese people here tell i have a great figure. I’m so skinny and i weigh 115 lbs…wonder if i would be considered fat in China? haha
oh and as for the big eyes, this author doesn’t know what she’s saying. Even if chinese people have big eyes, we still have the almond shape and it still looks very exotic. i will be honest, i will big eyes on Chinese more attractive and believe it or not, there are lots of chinese people with big eyes anyway. Not more than the ones that have small eyes, but come on…it’s not that rare.
August 22, 2011 at 4:22 am
natalie
i think the reason that they long for light skin and stay out of the sun is because it ages them. they don’t have skin like black africans. so when they go out in the sun, they get age spots and over time their skin will began to wrinkle and sag from too much exposure to the sun. it’s really unattractive, so i can understand why they stay out of the sun and aim to have lighter skin. sun damaged skin is very unattractive.
July 14, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Global Citizen
R E D I C U L O U S, who are you to critizise a culture’s definition of beauty. How would you like it if the people in the East point and frown upon your defitnion of beauty – dry tanned skin with thick legs- and say “those silly caucasians and caucasians wannabes, they are crazy” lol
all the high fashion models are thin, have you seen size 5 girls pose in magazines like Vogue? It’s not just C h i n a, sweetiepies
It’s great to see you accept yourself as who you are. Sure, north americans and generally caucasians are more confident although they may be rejected as beauty icons. But I have seen many MANY articles regarding how girls are wanting more and more to look like the girls in magazines and how it’s affecting their lifestyle.
as for the ABCs or CBCs who love their new found culture and despise their ancestry’s traditions and thoughts, you are even more ignorant than the caucasions who look down on asians. and yet you yourself ARE asian.
People are allowed to see things their own way and have their own definitions of things. It’s hilariious how so many people are blinded and do not see the hypocrisy in Western culture.
Although i know i am wasting my time leaving my msg here. I am just doing this for my own sake of satisfaction.
April 14, 2011 at 10:33 am
Woman
My university students laugh at me when they hear my answer to what I find attractive, “I like men who look like men, not little girls”. But it is true. And what shocks me to tears is the foreign men who come over here and fall so head over heals by the Chinese “beauties”. But when a woman does not look like a woman, in my opinion it makes them look like boys.
I love it up here in Inner Mongolia, where people look human and not aliens. Sure the sun hats are out in full force, the umbrella’s are constantly poking me in the eyes (my bane of being a giant and all)… but it is grand to see the envy in the eyes of many of those around me when I walk out with no hat, no umbrella even in the desert heat because, the sun is shinning and I am enjoying it.
April 4, 2011 at 2:47 am
Lisa
Ohh… The condescension is strong in this one. A few things to keep in mind here, this white-craze is not new. It’s been prized as a sign of beauty in China for hundreds, if not thousands of years! There is a cultural/biological reason to it. If white people like tanning up, it’s because it makes them look healthy and sun-kissed, instead of the sallow, I’ve-been-living-in-my-parent’s-basement-for-a-year look, and also implies an active lifestyle. Asians, however, tend to brown as they grow older, as opposed to whites, who actually become whiter. Large, cute eyes, and pale skin, therefore, is a sign of youth, as well as, you mentioned, higher social class. As for the tiny frames, it once again teeters towards 16-year-old-girl type. Why? Because the White tall, Amazonian woman with prominent curves are not usual in China. The small, stickish types are relatively more attainable.
And as for the whole, dye their hair, coloured lens thing… Just thing about it. Here in the West, white girls can decide to dye their hair blonde, red, black, brown. Why? Because they want to look different from their peers and friends. Why can’t the Chinese and their other East Asian cousins want to look different? They have even less phenotypical variation: everyone has some shade of black hair and black eyes.
Those silly Asians, they want to look different.
While it’s impossible to say that there hasn’t been some Western influence in their cultural standards, and that all the suffering and self-hate is unfortunate, it’s terrible to generalize, don’t you think?
April 4, 2011 at 8:47 am
lifebehindthewall
Lisa.. thank you for your comment.. and no I dont think it is a terrible generalization… I am here and I see girls.. stop eating for days to be skeletal, I see girl bleach their skin so white that they are unable to go outside in the summer without covering their entire body and head, and I see girl crying because they are 27 yrs old and are told they are too old to ever get married. As for wanting to look different… funny you say that.. because everyday I am told that they dont want to stand out… they are taught that the bird that sticks out gets shot first… so they dont want to be to smart, or too beautiful or too anything… you cant try to clarify it all you want.. but it is not healthy, not fair and not right.
January 5, 2011 at 10:40 pm
V
I saw an article and video on a website that explained the obsession with European features among people of different countries/cultures. It originates from European colonialism. Over time, native people desired to look like those who invaded their land, oppressed them and ultimately had power over them. Apparently, the closer you resembled your oppressors, the better you felt about yourself. Pretty sick, huh? When I saw this it clicked for me as to why this is such a worldwide problem. Colorism or “shadeism” as the article calls it, affects folks in the U.S., Africa, Asia, the Middle East, etc.
Funny how folks in the U.S. spend big bucks in tanning salons and on fake tanning (sprays and lotions) because they think it makes them look healthier, more attractive and yes, more affluent. They are also getting lip injections to make their lips fuller and Brazilian butt lifts to give them that extra “something.” Some dark folks want to get lighter and some light folks want to get darker. Go figure…
Check out the article and video at the bottom. Once the site comes up, be sure to scroll down.
http://clutchmagonline.com/newsgossipinfo/dark-ain%e2%80%99t-lovely-a-new-documentary-explores-%e2%80%98shadeism%e2%80%99/
December 31, 2010 at 12:33 pm
deb
Black is beautiful! Everyone knows darker skin ages well. Thank you God.
Yes, India has a colorism issue and these people continue to deny it. lol, Indians should know that Denial is not just a river in Egypt. I first heard that joke on the Roseanne Barr show and I still think it is funny.
Peace
December 31, 2010 at 12:37 pm
lifebehindthewall
i think.. if it wasnt color they would find something else to isolate people with
October 24, 2010 at 4:21 am
Jing Hu
Aye, I am also with you guys. WHen I went back to China to visit even my grandparents in ’08 they said I looked fat! “too muscular”. LMFAO. Which is funny becaus for me, personally i keep health and physique in check going to the Gym everyday.
So I think the standard of beauty in China is NOT healthy. Heck even the Chinese men in China I met are even thinner than me! LOL I rather have a healthy body than a thin stick figured body.
October 24, 2010 at 8:50 am
lifebehindthewall
Well… obviously you need to stop eating for a while.. and drink more green tea… You need to stay away from the healthy food.. or you will never meet the Chinese standard of beauty…(smile)
October 14, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Christina
Yes, its hilarious — I’m size four (live in China) and I am white, they love the white part but hate the four — I’m too fat for them!!!
Too bad I have a black boyfriend… darker the better!!!!
October 14, 2010 at 9:55 pm
lifebehindthewall
Size 4… ohhh.. honey. im sorry.. you will have to lose at lease 100 more pounds to fit in here…. (LMAO) ..they are some crazy people .. arent they?
October 1, 2010 at 12:20 am
Lillian Chen
Hi, I grew up in China, and it is like you said, everyone expect you to be skinny, pale and have big eyes…Thankfully, I’ve got big eyes and “light” skin for an Asian, but just not the skinny part, and everyday of my 14 years living in China, I get condemned for it. Some how, a girl with muscle is a BAD BAD thing, I was too “athletic” and need to be more girlie. Thank God I moved to United States at age 15, otherwise, I would have to stop moving and starve myself to death. What’s REALLY funny is that every time I go visit family there in China, they would take me out shopping. OH IT IS A JOY to find cloths that won’t fit my bust or my ass but will fit my waist and legs no problem X-D. I find Karma is ironic because I get to tease all the Chinese women who called me fat, FLAT and BOYish. BTW, did you know there’s a herbal tea in China that help circulate your blood if you don’t eat? !!! No wonder there’s a negative population growth despite the growing economy. There’s no healthy women left to reproduce!!!
October 1, 2010 at 12:34 am
lifebehindthewall
First thank you so much for reading by blog… now.. you are sooo right about them looking like stick people… I sometimes wonder how they make it .. and every day someone is on a diet because they grew breasts or an ass…. amazing…. and dont get me started on the shopping…..LMAO
August 3, 2010 at 1:05 am
Randy
(How did I miss this one?)
This is funny and not funny at the same time. Sounds like the same stuff I hear about Korea (both North and South), which this is probably why I experience a lot of racism from the Korean communities. Ah well, no need to get mad.
I love dark skin. I love Asian skin that is sun-kissed. To me that is beautiful. I couldn’t imagine being a man and saying “ooh baby, I love the way your bones rattle” haha.
Curvy hips, dark skin, intelligent, and take no Sh**….. I would probably scare those asinine little people that are disgusted by my appearance. Yeah, they’re not confident. And even though I am still working on mine, I don’t need no outsiders belittling me and telling me I’m not beautiful the way I am.
August 3, 2010 at 10:49 am
lifebehindthewall
Tell it like it is .. little sis.
August 2, 2010 at 9:49 am
Kiki
Sometimes I wonder why many Western men adore Asian women… Is it b/c they have child-like bodies… ???
When I was in China and Japan, I notice many women with “white” facial make up, blue eyes (contact lenses), and blonde hair (dyed). Crazy… I oftened remarked to my coworkers how beautiful Asian women are, but of course, w/o the alterations.
August 2, 2010 at 11:10 am
lifebehindthewall
yeah.. pretty crazy how they change everything to look more western…
August 2, 2010 at 11:57 am
lifebehindthewall
maybe.. or the idea that they are weak and controllable… which they are not… but maybe in their mind they will do anything and everything for their man.. treat them like a king….this may make them more attractive
June 7, 2010 at 1:04 am
Osirus
Excellent post! Be proud. We are all a unique work, wonderfully made with love by our creator.
June 7, 2010 at 8:34 am
lifebehindthewall
thank you….
April 4, 2010 at 2:59 am
margotmarrakesh
In Morocco (which is mostly Caucasian, but often with olive-toned skin, such as Greeks or Italians), people act just the same–they stay out of the sun, often use bleaching creams, and the whiter, the better.
In Central Africa, where most people are as black as a black crayon, to my surprise, I heard a number of people commenting, “I like to stay out of the sun, because it makes my skin darker, and I don’t like that color.”
So I think this problem is everywhere. Very interesting to read about it in China, though!
April 4, 2010 at 10:09 pm
lifebehindthewall
funny how this is common in almost every country… I wonder who started this way of thinking? Thank you for your comment.
October 1, 2010 at 12:23 am
Lillian C
My mom (Chinese) used to put pearl powder on her skin to look whiter. Also a lot of skin care products in China have whitener in them
October 1, 2010 at 12:36 am
lifebehindthewall
I noticed the whitener thing… .every body soap, make up, face wash, lotion, cream… everything.. has skin whiter in it… I am a black woman… I am afraid after living in china for a few year.. i will be the next Michael Jackson…(RIP)
April 1, 2010 at 8:54 am
missindependent7
The beauty standard in India too is a bit similar..e.g. the top bollywood actresses(even though some of ‘em can’t act to save their lives) hare mostly light skinned. They’re supposed to represent Indians but the truth is 90% or more of Indians are brown. Indians are as obssessed with light skin as are their neighbors, China. I’m Indian myself and a close girlfriend of mine still to this day uses ” Fair and Lovely”( the most popular skin lightening cream which she continue’s to buy even though it doesn’t work.lol)…i tried it once & even though it smells good, i was out off instantly cuz that shit makes your skin dry…ugh..beside’s..i’ve come to accept and love my natural skin tone..sadly,there are millions of Indians who still obssess over light skin. for e.g. if you open the matrimonial section of any major newspaper, you will find ads searching for or advertising “Fair brides or Wheatish complexion brides”…LOL… Another thing that’s a new fad(?) among urban educated Indian women is wanting to be skinny. Ever since top Bollywood actress Kareena lost weight(apparently..she’s size 0), many young urban girls have started obsessing over theier weight..sad..but the whole skinny is beautiful concept is a fairly new one so i guess it’s not that severe…