American Wives: Not So Bad After All


I read an article recently online from an American man on the website http://www.nomarriage.com … it stated:

Chinese women make much better wives than American women.

  1. An American woman has several fundamental problems that will never go away and that will get much worse a few years after she is married:
  2. Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media. Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a point.
  3. Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This “princess” syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you, and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from you.
  4. Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.
  5. Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.

Chinese women generally don’t have any of these problems.(what ever) Marrying an American woman simply does not make sense. The ONLY reason men stay with American women is because they did not have enough exposure to Chinese women. Any man who spent a few months in Asia will not even look at American women again

Unbelievable…. I was at a loss for words… (temporarily) .. then I had a lot of words…. First of all, obviously this was written by a man who had not been to China and if he had it was about 20 years ago.  Because the Chinese woman is not what they think.  They are not the ..Japanese Geisha girl.. you see on tv.  They are not unopinionated, and so submissive.

As proven in this article below from China’s People Daily:

Survey: Chinese women changes attitude toward marriage
( 2003-09-21 08:12) (People’s Daily)

Many high-income professional women remain single

A survey in Beijing indicates that 50.2 percent of those women with a monthly salary of 5,000–15,000 yuan remain single.

The survey shows that there are five reasons for this:

firstly, 48.3 percent of them are economically independent and unnecessary to depend on men;

secondly, 6.5 percent are busy with their work;

thirdly, 12.2 percent are too outstanding to find superior male partners;

fourthly, 23.4 percent distrust the existence of true feelings;

fifthly, 9.6 percent for other reasons.


Two lovers hold a western-style marriage ceremony in Beijing September 6, 2003. [newsphoto.com.cn]

Seeing sexual life as important, unafraid of divorce

According to a survey conducted among the women in Chengdu city, Sichuan Province, over 80 percent women surveyed attach importance to the quality of sexual life, the ratio exceeds 95 percent among those with a college education level and above. Relatively speaking, the middle-aged and old people, deeply influenced by traditions, hold the traditional concept of sex.

Change in attitude toward cohabitation

In the 1980s, cohabitation between unmarried man and woman was a shameful act in people’s eyes. Nowadays, however, over 80 percent of the women surveyed adopt an indifferent attitude, thinking that it is not necessarily to have a “marriage certificate” as long as a couple  loves each other.

First-generation daughter raises harsh conditions for choosing spouse

Such conditions include high schooling record, good-looking and a promising future. If one’s educational level is very average, he must be rich; if one is not rich and well-educated, he must be handsome, have specialized techniques and be willing to do household chores. When going to the matrimonial agency, these girls are usually accompanied by their parents, and the matrimonial requirements are listed by parents. These young girls have never cared about their own business, and so their parents will not let them decide their own marriage.

Views on child-bearing age

According to the women surveyed, 35.22 percent “thought it bad for women not having given birth to a child before the age of 30 because of their declining physical conditions”; 4.54 percent “thought it bad, because it will be laborious to rear a child later”; 19.31 percent thought what is discussed above is “not a problem at all” and 40.90 percent thought that it is “understandable even if one does not give birth to a child”.

Three-members family no longer the main form

The survey indicates that the choice of family form presents the pattern of one decline and three rises, that is, compared with the survey conducted in 1997, the ratio of people choosing a nucleus family (a couple plus a child) drops 11.3 percent, those choosing DINK family, celibacy and directly related families rise 1.1 percent, 3.9 percent and 6.1 percent respectively.

So as everyone can see… the views and thinking of Chinese women are … ohhh…Like American women. Actually, kind of worse… we will at least accept a man who isn’t rich or handsome as long as he treats us well.   However, no one like a stupid man… we can all agree to that.

I asked my husband about marrying a Chinese woman to an American woman and he says that a lot of Chinese women are spoiled by their parents and have too many husband requirements.  Some won’t even look at a man if he doesn’t have a car, house or money.

This is true… when I asked the girls in the office what their requirements were they all said…. House, car, not ugly but not handsome, Tall, educated, rich.. if not rich.. then be able to make a lot of money in the future.... and these are women that are educated teachers.  Not one person said… Love …. but when you ask American women… most will say .. they want someone who loves and respects them and will be stable and honest.  All the other stuff… would be nice .. but not really necessary.

I am afraid that the American man will be sadly disappointed when they find out that Chinese women are more demanding and independent than they think. In most cases, more than American women.

It makes me laugh out loud to think about it.  They are obviously living in the middle ages.  Their way of thinking is totally off the mark.

I have found being married to as Chinese man … is much better than an American man.  (at least the ones I have found)

I notice that they do everything they can to take care of you.  They feel it is their responsibility to be the man.  This is a great feeling for a woman.. to know that she can depend on the man to take care of her and not have to take on the job herself.  To know that the man wants to treat her like a queen.  You know… when you know your husband is wanting to honestly take care of you… then you have the motivation to take care of him.

That is what some of these American men that are wanting Chinese wives are not getting… you are not going to get a woman to take care of you and listen to you .. if you do not treat her the right way.

In a marriage you need to take care of each other…. you do what you are supposed to do… and then she will compliment you..and do what she is supposed to do. Kind of like… dare I say it… a partnership.

Love and respect .. begets love and respect…. Why do American women feel they deserve certain things… well because we do.. and the men that see that… will be  and are very happy… because…If you haven’t learned… a happy wife means a happy life.

until next time….

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11 thoughts on “American Wives: Not So Bad After All

  1. Louie

    I’m French and my wife is American. I have heard this bad stuff about American women but I think mostly it comes from American men who have not ever been much outside their own country lol. Most places in the world that are decent to live women don’t want to be door mats anymore. French women is also independent. I think some men don’t know how to make any woman happy so they rather have woman smile at him even when she really wants to puke! The fact is these men is insecure and only feel like a man if he can dominate a woman. My wife is sweet, king, loyal and respects me completely. Do you men know why it is so? Because I do same for her! Don’t blame your failure with women on women. Any decent woman, from anywhere is not for money not dramas or anything else. If you are a good man then she will be good woman to you!

  2. jason

    Well, I have been to china often and know many chinese.
    All the women that i knew, (from 30yrs to late 40s)are obsessed with money. The idea of love is material possessions. They look down on their fellow countrymen if they are considered to have a menial job. In my opinion even the lowest class of man is to good for them.
    Shrewed,domineering, souless and selfish individuals.
    They tell me, survival of the strongest. I have heard that it is only some that are this way however i beg to differ. I feel sorry for the Chinese Man.

  3. andrew

    the poster here doe have a point that many american men generalize too much towards american women but there are more reasons than those pointed out in the original post. Some other reasons are that the laws in america are unfavorable ro men like rape laws withoput physical evidence and bad rep just because of someones word. another is that your looking only towards mordern women but if people were to look at the whole picture with traditional women and modern women in both countries, its better to get a wife in china or from another asian country than in the western nations. I dont beat women or anything and im looking for a long term relationship but i cannot risk it with so many new laws that give men such a disadvantage towards all men at the moment. In america, its very easy for women to go from traditional to modern and i dont mind some but if all women in america refused to help out wirth child care as i will then she will be a horrible mother but in china, there are more traditionally influenced women

    1. So Andrew you do not think women should be protected by laws. In china they aren’t and they have almost no rights. You say they are so traditional but Chinese women are not as traditional as you think. Things are changing honey.

  4. Jason

    I don’t think Chinese girls are as materialistic as you make them out to be….

    Chinese people nowadays usually start dating around High School (secretly), college…..where nobody is rich. Go to a college campus and there are couples everywhere.

    And what about the High School dropouts in barber shops or selling meat in the streets? I know a HS dropout who works at the same store with his girlfriend down the street….I mean…..there’s all kinds of people to really make one generalization.

    1. Of course there are exceptions to the norm… however .. my point is not that Chinese girls are materialistic.. my point is that they are not so different than American woman. They are no better or no worse… women all over the world want the same things. I am also specifically talking about Chinese women IN CHINA… I was proving that the gentleman that spoke so badly about American women… was very missinformed. I thank you for your comments.. and for visiting my website.

  5. pearls

    I have some additional comments to elaborate on, if I may. In my initial remark, I added a bit of humor to somewhat counteract the disparaging consensus of the dilemma that we as women too often encounter from the mind-set of men like nomarriage.com. As women, we will talk to each other, confide in each other, and even seek space to vent about the frustrations of not being appreciated when it evades men’s (supposedly) deaf ears. Yet, that becomes tiring very quickly.

    There is an answer and you’ve provided it. So, instead of focusing on mister nomarriage.com and his basement pods, my prayer and hope is that more women will evaluate themselves. Discover and embrace their value, then become open to receiving and experiencing the life they truly deserve. Expecting a life of happiness to become evident, just like you did. My guess it that, even though, you were unaware of when or how it would unfold or when the meeting of that special someone (man) would take place, the aligning of yourself with everything (rightfully deserved) in the universe, caused it to come to pass. I look forward to more of your thought provoking writings. Thank you for sharing!

  6. pearls

    P.S. I believe your husband knew exactly what he wanted in a woman and could experience that with you. He wanted a relationship where he could breathe and not feel stifled (not being spoiled is a good thing). I dare and boldly will say that the majority of AA women in America are NOT spoiled! Just guessing, but that’s why he phoned you so often. He didn’t want anyone else to seize his opportunity for happiness.

    One thing I’ve observed to be true, is when men are ready for marriage, they too have an intuition that will go into high gear, and will know their match/mate when they see her. That’s why (I believe) so many of them just sit back, observing the auras, until the ‘one’ appears! Peace!

    1. Ohh.. Thank you… yeah.. I actually think you are right on this point. Sometimes.. my husband just comes up to me .. puts his hands on my shoulders and stares at my face and touches my cheek for a couple of minutesl.. and when I ask him what are you doing?.. he always says… just looking at the woman I love. I am such a lucky man…….somethings just leave you for a loss for words.

  7. pearls

    Greetings! I hope you and yours are/will enjoy this day!

    Your writings are so thought provoking and informative!
    This nomarriage.com article is too funny! I just have to laugh because it’s typical of a subjective person’s view in comparison to a an objective person’s view. And ‘they’ say American women have issues! There’s no wonder why after encountering men like this! I would like for him to get a hold of a ‘few’ modern day Chinese womens’ marriage criterias and see how flabbergasted he becomes! You know he’ll be looking for a younger model, right! All I can say is that his bridal registry will be a very simple one, bicycle pumps! LOL!!!

    I concur with you about American women, as I am one. Love respect, stability, honesty, and might I add committment and trust are all factors for maintaining a good marital relationship. We, as women, want to be cherished and will reciprocate it in a heart beat. Too many men (over here) have a very obscure, off kilter concept of what love is (women do talk to each other). In some relationships I’ve had in the past, I’d rather have been liked than loved! LOL!

    Please keep it coming! Your writings are so prolific! Peace, Out!

    1. Sometimes.. I amazed at the thinking of the people that share this world with us. It is like these men are living in their own fantasy world…. I am not sure if I want to laugh to cry at the obvious ignorance is so sad. Thank you for reading and I will make sure and keep writing. 🙂

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