Some Foreigners are Making China Unsafe

I have to tell you guys what happened to me last night. I want to first say that I have lived in China for 1.5 years and have only one time had a problem with a Chinese local bothering me and that was easily handed. However, last night after school, around 930pm my co-worker, an Irish girl around 23 years old and I decided we would go to the 24 hour Mcdonalds for a burger. Now keep in mind that we live in a small city and it pretty much rolls up the streets at 10pm. So, therewere very few people out.

We went to Mcdonalds got our food and then I decided to walk her halfway home just to be safe.. and then take a taxi back to my home, which was a little farther away. While we were walking and talking .. we saw two foreign men walking toward us. We were trying to decide what country they were from I guessed European and she guess Middle Eastern. By the time we met they had noticed us and started to smile. We greeted each other as all foreigners usually do. Since, very few foreigners come to this town we are always surprised to see them. But, they shook both of our hands and asked where we were from, and we asked them where they were from. She was correct they were from some middle eastern countries. However, they had very white skin so I was surprised. (my middle eastern knowledge is limited)

So, we spoke about China for about 3 minutes or so and they suggested we come to their hotel for coffee. I being of sound mind and body .. started seeing red flags. My Irish friend was excited to see foreigners and agreed to go. I did not want her to go alone so I agreed to go.

I knew that most businessmen stayed at the 5 star hotels in town and I had many friends in these places so I felt it was public enough. However, when we started walking I noticed that they were not staying in the higher class hotels. More red flags…. however, I glanced over to my little friend she was chattering and smiling having a grand time… clueless.

I continued to walk.. and one of the men around 40 years old, started asking me questions.. like why was I living in China and I said my husband lives here.. he said you married Chinese? I said yes.. .he said why? and I said why not? and that shut him up for a little bit. I can be a bitch when I want to be… (smile)… anyway .. we were almost to their hotel and they asked if we knew Chinese.. and I said a little.. and they said they didnt know any. Information I was happy to know.

So we got to the hotel, and I noticed on the elevator that there was a coffee shop on the 2nd floor… however when we got into the elevator.. they pushed the 4th floor… the Irish girl stated .. look the coffee shop is on the 2nd floor .. and the older man, around 60 years old, said.. oh no their coffee is not good, we have arabic coffee in the hotel room that we can make ourselves. NOW.. the Irish girl’s light bulb went off… I saw her face when it did…. and had to smile to myself… when we got to the 4th floor.. the guys got out first and when to their room… to open the door… she looked at me and said… these are dirty old men… my god… and I said.. you are just figuring this out? At that time, my phone rang.. and it was my husband..(he always knows when to call.. like a connection we have) .. he said… to me.. where are you? your not home? I said.. yeah.. I am with the Irish teacher and we went to Mcdonalds.. he said.. come home now… I was like okay…how long will you be .. he asked… at that time the guys came out of the hotel room to see what was going on with us…. I said loudly we will be there in 10 minutes. My husband said okay.

I told the guy my husband just called we have to go… the old guy said… she can stay with us… I told him.. NO.. she is going with me…. and I looked at him.. with a look that said.. try me bastard and it is on…. he looked at her.. who was not hiding behind me.. and she said.. I have to go with her. I looked at him and smiled like… nice try asshole and turned and walked away.

He wasnt going to give up and started asking for her phone number.. she said.. I dont know it… (which was actually true) .. and I said just give us your business card…. he handed it to us… and I said.. we will call you… and then got on the elevator, where there was a Chinese man there that quickly closed the elevator for us and said hello in Chinese and started having a conversation with me in Chinese so the old guy had to just stand there.. as the door closed in his face…His look was in anger.. and I smiled widely.. and waved.

When we were leaving.. .I told the little girl… never, ever go to someone’s hotel room… or hotel… just because they are foreigners doesn’t mean they are good people. I told her especially Middle eastern people… some of them hate everyone… and you will not know. She agreed and listened to me… I told her I wasnt going to let her go alone but I knew what was up… I told her I had her back.. but next time.. you need to be more careful.  I told her if this had been an American, Canadian, Englishman, or any other civilized country they would have asked you to coffee at Mcdonalds or some public place.. not their hotel.

She said to me… I never felt that way around Chinese men.. I never feel afraid.. I should feel cautious around every man… but most Chinese are traditional and respect women for the most part. She said thank you so much for protecting me… I said.. they don’t know me.. I would have took them out with just my keys…. I am a big, Black American woman .. and I do not go down easily… (smile)…I told her they are lucky.. I did not have soap in a sock .. or they would have been in pain just thinking about what they wanted to do.

On my way home in the taxi, I thought to myself… what if that had been a Chinese girl.. who thought the foreigner was being kind to her.. or what if she had been in the room with them… they are very small people… the more I thought about it the more angry I got… when I got home .. I told my husband what happened ..and he shook his head and said.. “stupid girl.. she could have gotten hurt” I said.. I know.. that is why I didn’t leave her.

China.. it is these kinds of things.. that make me understand why they did not want foreigners in their country. What were these men thinking… they expect to just come here and do what they want? Well.. they almost got the unexpected… right in the throat…

until next time…


16 thoughts on “Some Foreigners are Making China Unsafe

  1. daydreamer

    So women from what you call”civilized “countries are never victims of rapists or predators?
    You learn sthg new every day.
    I applaud your courage but I can’t pass your bad generalizations about Arabs. You admit you knew little about them yet you gave advice to your colleagues about how to deal with them.


  2. Randy....

    Goodness, people are scary everywhere… They don’t know. They better not cross you! You’re a heavy-weight! Like Mohammad. I’ve crossed some Irish people a lot in my life. I don’t think they are to be taken to lightly either?!?

    Nice to have a husband that shares a connection to you 🙂

  3. wocview

    I can imagine your feeling, as I have been to Shanghai and when I look around at how foreigners chat up the local Chinese girls, I find that disturbing. Especially since you can clearly read their intention from their eyes a mile away.

    Keep up the good work!!! Reading your blog all the way from the Netherlands! And of mixed Jamaican/American/Chinese heritage 🙂


  4. Pingback: Black American woman in China: Some foreigners are making China unsafe « Welcome to Wocview

  5. pearls

    RLOL!!! I concur what he said is true grasshopper (Kung Fu tv show). Girl….you, your husband and the man you mentioned are too funny! There is a definite need for more people like you all in this world. Thank you so very much, that really, really made my day! RLLLLOL!

    P.S. The view about the touching of the hair has changed over the years, at least for me! LOL!

    1. I have found that smiling and laughing at the things around me .. makes for a better stay in China…. I am lucky to be able to meet some interesting and funny people in my stay here. People and experiences I will never forget… oh.. and I still dont want them touching my hair.. (smile)… Thank you so much for reading my blog.

  6. pearls

    RLOL!!! So, your husband knows the drill! LOL!!! That’s too funny! It’s good he’s a fast learner! RLOL! Fly on the wall! OMG…I bet those skunky-rascals didn’t know what hit them! It’s so HILARIOUS because we AA women, especially (though we can be as sweet as pie), can tell it like it ‘T-I-S’ all without breaking a sweat when riled! Then afterwards sit down calmly, drink whatever and dare someone to retaliate! LOL!!! We definitely do have a unique body language and expressive way about us which has spanned multiple generations.

    1. Yeah.. for a semi-traditional Chinese man.. my husband has learn my ways pretty quickly….and even got jokes.. . One of the Black American men that use to work in our little town… who had now moved on… spoke in detail about black women to my husband… he was kind of joking with him.. but also being truthful…. he told him.. 1. Never touch her hair…. 2. If she puts one hand on her hip… just shut up and stop talking.. and 3. if she puts both hands on her hips.. just drop everything and run… no look back .. just run… “Kuai Pao” (run quickly) .. that guy had us both rolling… but then said… what I say is true grasshopper… listen and you will survive a marriage to a Black woman.. that guy was crazy.. but smart…(smile)

  7. Bellydancer

    Honey those arabs think they are slick you have to watch them usually they pull this trick in their own countries and think every non arab woman is an easy lay.
    You were lucky you didn’t have to whip nobody’s ass.
    Sometime ww get a lil too happy at a man’s attention where bw are just automatically on alert (lol)

    1. it is like we have their number before they do…hehehe… I have dealt with Arabs before.. so I know how they can be… I am always on alert when they are around…and it doesnt help that I am American… some of them have issues with us you know…

  8. pearls

    My sentiments exactly! The throat (first) will work! The results…as my older brother would say, “Good night Gracie!”
    They’ll be calling the equivalent of 911 for those old rascals!
    Great advice you gave your co-worker. I believe she learned a valuable lesson with you being present. Like reading the signs early on is much, much better and safer. I’m aware that China’s still relatively new at opening up to a wide array of foreigners, and it’s a shame how those type men will travel on business or whatever to another country, then on their down time peruse the streets for innocent prey. I truly understand your thoughts regarding this, because if something happens, every ‘foreigner’ gets lumped together, inclusive of singling out the real culprits!

    Of course, during the ordeal, it wasn’t funny, but after the fact, reading about your thoughts were right on and hilarious! I could just imagine your eyes! We surely know how to use those ‘eyes’ without the need to raise our voices. It’s all in the eyes and the tone (refusing to fear)! But, if and when we have to raise our voices, everything around us will run for cover for fear of not knowing what’s coming next! LOL!

    1. after it was over…. I did kind of joke about it.. especially when my husband said… that they better be glad.. I didn’t put my hands on my hips… he said he has learned the warning signs.. those men just did not know what they were up against… He had me rolling… He said he wish he could have been a fly on the wall .. to see their faces….

  9. kafi

    Wow.reading this post made me feel like i was reading a thriller suspenseful(is that even a word?) but seriously, glad to know you and you friend reached home safe and sound. There are plenty of decent Middle eastern men but yea,at the same time there are plenty of rotten apples too who u need to watch out for. i would have been suspicious from the time they invited you & your friend to join them for coffee especially since it was late at reminded me of the time me and my 2 girlfriends went clubbing last year(in delhi, india)..we showed up at the club in a taxi and once the club closed, we were scrambling around looking for a taxi and these 2 men came up to one of my girlfriend’s and asked her if she wanted a ride back home..she was like “NO, thank you” and walked away as fast as she could before the could say anything more….i’m glad we waited out even though it took us almost an extra hour to find a damn taxi…moral of story= never trust strangers(esp if they happen to be men). lol.

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