The Funniest Thing Happened Today…

Sometimes while living here in China the craziest and funniest things happen.  As the senior of 4 foreigners that work at the school I have seen and met many different people from different countries and all seem to have a little something that makes them… I guess you can say special… and today was no exception.

At our dinner break….the Irish girl and I decided we would visit a little shop across the street from our school.  They had a sign up, in Chinese of course, that stated that they were having a sale and that they would be closing soon.  Which was actually a little strange since they just opened a couple of days ago.

We walked over and found that there were several interesting things.  They ranged from various types of fake Nike, Puma, Addidas, and Sketchers to fake bags that were LV, Chanel and Gucci and various other small things.

I was particularly interesting in a Black Chanel bag that was actually very well made with real leather and very soft.  I quickly asked in China how much was the bag…. and the price was 75 RMB… way too expensive.. in Chinese thinking.   I knew now was the time to bargain.   I quickly told her .. it was too expensive… and put it back on the shelf.   And in true Chinese style.. she took it back off the shelf and asked me how much would I pay… and gave me a calculator …. (this is the way they barter prices) ... of course I typed in the lowest possible amount… 40 rmb .. I felt that was good enough… however.. she didn’t like that… (smile)… she came back with 50 rmb… and I was actually okay with paying 50 so I agreed and ended it there.  I do not enjoy spending hours fighting over the price of something.

My little Irish friend… found a bag and a backpack… and quickly bartered her price down from 100 rmb to 65 rmb for the both of them together… we looked around some more then raced back across the street to grab our money.

When we return… we were joined by the Canadian/Egyptian male teacher that works with us.   He was actually impressed with some of the items there… Now here is where some humor began.

The Irish girl saw a pair of cute green Nikes and really wanted to get them… however, the price the sales lady told her was 75 rmb.. we felt way too much… and again she asked how much did she want to pay…. since she had only brought a 100 rmb over to pay for her items … she handed the woman 20 rmb…. the look on the sales lady’s face was priceless… I started laughing and hugged the poor sales lady….. she hugged me back started laughing… when she found out we were joking…. but… still had a look in her eye that said .. have you foreigners lost your damned mind???

As we were walking out of the little shop… the male teacher saw a little man bag…and we told him he should get it….. he was hesitant .. but then took a closer look…..the little bag was actually cute and brown leather.

This made the sales woman perk up.. and quickly come over to barter…..when the teacher asked how much for the murse… she quickly quoted the price of 75rmb… (i am thinking this is her favorite number)…anyway.. in loud Chinese .. he moaned and said.. babbaba… too expensive…(in the exact mimic of an older chinese man…they tend to moan loudly like you are hurting them with the price you are offering)….he then tried to rub the saleswoman’s arm to get her to lower the price… mind you she looked about 50 years old…. he was also trying to blow kisses at her.. to see if she would lower the price… of course we were laughing loudly… at this since the woman’s face looked like she had just sucked on a lemon.  We told him .. that we thought it was not working.  She did not look like she was being seduced into lowering the price.

So she waved him away and told him 50 rmb… he again .. made the loud .. babababa.. sound and said too expensive… now he was drawing a crowd…. or maybe it was us.. with our laughter… since we were out on the street.

He then came back to the woman and said… 35rmb.. ohh.. she wasn’t going for that at all…. she started rambling on in Chinese and waving her finger… around… I just knew she was cussing him out……but he just kept trying to rub her arm and blow her kisses….and wink at her.

Finally she was a little pissed… so she took the bag back… and took out a little spongebob.. change purse and slammed it on the counter and told him .. if he wanted to pay 35rmb… to buy this…. When she slammed the little purse onto the counter.. the Male teacher grabbed his eye… and yelled like she had hit him…  .. and pointed at the security…(smile) if to tell on her…(we started rolling….) even the sales woman had to laugh out loud at that one.  Since .. she was not even close to his body let alone his face or eye.

Now i had tears in my eyes.. because the rest of the crowd was laughing…. he was making quite the spectical of himself…. so a young man came up to us .. I am assuming to impress us with his english ability…. and said… ohh.. this bag is very beautiful and 50rmb is a good price…. I turned and  looked at the young man.. who seemed to be leaning over MY shoulder.. and said.. well if it is so beautiful .. YOU pay 50 rmb for it….. he looked away and said he already had one… and I said.. ohh.. I thought so….

so this bartering when back and forth for another 10 minutes… when finally… the teacher whispered to us… hey I will ask one more time… then walk away .. and she will call me back… (which I am familiar with this … and also knew it would happen) but the Irish girl was an ameatur…. so he told the sales woman..35 rmb.. and blew her one last kiss… and she said No.. and waved us away…. then started walking back across the street…she took long enough to call use back…we were all the way across the street….. but of course she called us back….. and said… .okay, okay… 35rmb….

We walked back to the shop… and he smiled.. and then asked her to lower the price to 25rmb…. we all laughed at that.. then said.. noo.. 35 rmb is a good price.. go ahead and pay her… so .. he handed her 40 rmb.. and instead of giving him his change.. she put it in her pocket and walked back into the shop.

We rolled…. she was getting the last laugh… or was she…. the teacher then… turned to us and said.. she just cheated him… and then went in and tried to butter her up … to get 5 rmb back from her…. she wouldn’t do it… so … he took one of the display flip flops… and pretended to runaway with it… (smile)… she started laughing and just waved him good bye as if to tell him… fine take the one shoe… sillyass….

This started the whole crowd laughing…. because what the hell was he going to do with one girls’ flip flop .. with a big pink flower on the top…. he brought the shoe back.. and then … started telling the sales woman how beautiful she was…. and blowing kisses again…. the poor woman.. couldn’t stop smiling and laughing at this time…. I know she was thinking in her mind.. these foreigners are fools….

We then all gave her a hug.. and started walking across the street back to the school.   I stopped to show a young girl that worked in the office my purse .. then walked up stairs to find… that the back pack that the Irish girl had purchased… had broken when she tried to open the zipper…. she was holding the bag in one hand and the zipper in the other….. I could not help but start laughing again… at the look on her face…. I told her… humm.. must be made in China….

So she quickly went back across the street….. while she was gone… we were telling the other teachers what had happened … and after about 15 minutes… the Irish girl came back .. with the Nikes.. on her feet…. hehehe.… evidently…she traded the backpack for the shoes…. and we just all started laughing…. that she got them after all.

It was actually … quite an experience… and one that had me laughing for the rest of the night…. because all the night… the Male teacher  kept asking everyone if they had seen his new purse.   Everyone that would listen to him… he would say… hey… have you seen my new purse….. just a damn fool.  (smile)

awww… what an evening… it just goes to show that sometimes… you have to just make your own fun.   I am sure that most of the Chinese people do not know what to think about us foreigners.   I spent 5 minutes…standing in front of the door of the school giving my Miss America wave to everyone that walked by the school…. and as they stared at me… they really didn’t know what to do .. but … timidly wave back… and look around to see if anyone was watching them.

We find that as foreigners here… we have to lighten the locals up a bit… get them use to laughing and loving the foreign people in their country.   We figure that if they do not like us… they will when we get done forcing them too… (smile)

until next time…


2 thoughts on “The Funniest Thing Happened Today…

  1. pearls

    This is HILARIOUS! Humor is definitely an icebreaker. Stores really open and close fast over there it seems. A grand opening one day and two days later, a going out of business sale!

What do you think about this?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s