Beauty Salon in China


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Ladies and Gentlemen I had one of the most interesting experiences since I have come to China so far.  As a Black woman I do not go to the hair salons here; for  the Black women that read this blog, the obvious reasons to the others, because they do not know how to do Black hair or even heard of it for that matter.  So, last night my trusty Irish co-teacher and I were walking around town.. and she said she wanted to get her hair cut and asked me where she should go.   (why she asked me? I suppose since I had been in China longer she figured I would know…she obviously also does not know the difference in hair care between the ethnic groups…) However, I remembered I had a formal student that owned a hair salon not far from where we were.

I called her and she was happy to meet us at her salon.   As we were walking there, my co-teacher asked me why I choose this place out of the hundres in town.. I said.. it was close and I knew the owner and in China .. connections are everything. She agreed.

When we arrive we beat my former student there… so we were standing out side her salon to wait for her and saw about 15 attractive, metro looking men working inside the salon.. and about 5 of them had noticed that we were standing out front.  We are foreigners so.. we kind of stand out.

Luckily, my student walked around the corner 5 minutes later.  She was very excited to see me and gave me a very big hug… and quickly rushed us inside her little shop.  The shop was small about 5 people could stand side by side for the width.. and about 12 people could stand the length of it.  It had 5 salon chairs on either side with mirrors on the wall.. a small desk at the very back and a little room that only two people could stand in .. had a little sink chair to wash hair.. and a very small sofa in the farthest corner.  Quite small even for Chinese standards.. but crowded.  Along with the workers.. who were all male.. there was two female customers and one male customer and us.

By the time we had walked in and viewed the situation, all 15 men became interested in us and wanted to help us …. so they sat my friend in a salon chair and then quickly sat me in a chair beside her…. then someone quickly brought us some chrysanthemum tea.

My student (whose English was not as good as it use to be) figured out that we wanted to cut and color my friend’s hair.   She had decided to color it on the way to the salon.  Nothing drastic just back to the natural medium brown color and trim the ends and give her some sweeping bangs.

I was able to confer all this information to my student and she quickly ordered the young men around in the salon.   They quickly started a kind of fanciful dance around the tiny salon.

We had one guy that was constantly sweeping the floor, another standing in the doorway greeting people and trying to get them to come into the salon, another one that was getting other customers tea, and another behind the counter… he was money collector and DJ, since it seemed  he was changing the music from Chinese music to .. Beyonce when we were getting settled.  They all wore black and white.. with creative hairstyles and hair colors.  Most were very attractive in the baby face, metro boy way.  They all had beautiful smiles.. and really good skin… so clear… and would shyly look away if we made too much direct eye contact.

The others were working on other customers… about 3 to 4 men per woman,  with only one, working on the man.  Yeah, I know…. so.. my student explained that they would be washing her hair first…. I passed that information on to her.. she said okay.. and then three men took her away to the back area to wash her hair.

My student then informed me that she was 4 months pregnant and that she had just purchased a Condo behind the shop… she wanted to show me the place.. so I told my friend I would be right back…

She took me to her new home and her husband.. who by the way had also been a student of mine long ago…. was painting … (I remembered when I saw him that he also was very attractive and metro looking…) Her home was nice and she told me that they had paid.. 1 million rmb for it…. (seeing as the average Chinese worker gets only about 2000 to 4000 rmb a month) this took a lot of saving and was a big accomplishment.

We walked back to the shop as caught up on what we had both been doing…and promised to keep in touch better.   We arrived back to the salon to find that my little friend was in her chair now drinking tea while one man was cutting her hair and another was sweeping up the hair and another was watching the one cut her hair…. (what service) …. it was a little warm in the shop because there was a chinese woman next to my friend that was getting her hair permed the old-fashioned way… with the giant octopus machine that looked like big jumper cables hooked all over her head.  It was amazing.. just like something out of the 1950’s or should I say 40’s.  I asked my student about it .. and she said that the girl had to sit there for 3 hours… I was horrified…. but the young lady sat there patiently drinking her tea.

My student and I sat outside for a few minutes and I quietly asked her how much this was going to cost.  She said hold on and went back into the shop and whispered to the main guy that was cutting my friend’s hair… after about a 5 minute discussion she came back out with a menu … she told me that for a normal high quality color (like my friend was getting) it was 398rmb.. and for the cut 80rmb.. however… she was giving it all to us for 100rmb…(yeah I know .. the connections pay off here) .. she asked me if that was okay… and I said that is wonderful… and gave her a hug and said thank you.  She smiled and said.. your my teacher.  As if to say.. duh?

I glanced in the window and my little Irish friend was mouthing some words to me that I could not understand.. so I had to go back in… she was saying that the cut looked good… and so did the man doing her hair… I just laughed out loud.  My student informed me that she needed to get back home.. her little son was eating and she had to get back.  I said okay… and thank you so much … we all said our good byes.. and she left…That left us with the metro boys and two other customers.

Now the excitement was beginning…. (smile).. their boss was gone and they were free to be themselves.  I could tell by the change in the atmosphere things were about to become interesting.

My little Irish friend was kind of giggling and making eye contact in the mirror with the handsome stylist that was now blow drying her hair after her cut… so it could be dry when they put the dye on her hair… as he was drying it they both kept smiling at each other… and she kept glancing at him… and then back at me … whispering that he was sexy and that his shirt was open and she could see he was a little more manly than the rest of them because he had a couple of hairs on his chest.  (smile).. I laughed and said really?  so I quickly stood up and looked closely at his chest…smiling and said.. yeah.. I see them… and he was a bit embarrassed and closed his shirt a little and looked away……we all laughed out loud.  There was a switch in men.. when a younger man… (looked like a boy around 13 years old) but in China who knows… took over the coloring part… his hair was standing about 6 inches off the top of his head… in a 1980’s boy band kind of style… that was dyed bright red… not orange.. but red… interesting against his .. baby face.. and petite body.  … she said to me that he was not as attractive, she liked the other one…. I said his face is cute… she said.. you sure like them young… we both laughed…at that … I said.. noo.. I just like a pretty boy… she was like .. I like a little more manly… as we discussed our tastes in English.. we could see they were really trying hard to understand what we were saying.  Getting closer and closer.

I whispered to my friend… you know how much this service normally costs… she said how much?  I said.. for the color… like 400 rmb and for the cut 80 rmb… she said .. that is too expensive I don’t have that kind of  money to spend … I said don’t worry .. you know how much she is charging you…. she said how much .. I said.. 100rmb….. she was like… woo… thank goodness you are with me… I said… That’s How I roll…. ….we started laughing….

Then to my surprise.. the main stylist pulled up a stool beside me.. and a piece of paper and pen and begin to ask me questions in Chinese.  Simple things at first… where am I from?  where was she from?  What is my name?  What is her name? etc.  I also asked him his name and age… which we found out was the same age as my Irish friend.. that made her smile.

Then we got to … does she have a boyfriend… ?  Do I have a boyfriend?  Well.. like clock work as soon as he asked me that question…. My Husband Called me.(smile)... he was on a business trip to Qingdao, which is about a 16 hour drive away from where I was… and just like always .. he knows exactly when to call.. right when I could have got myself into a lot of trouble.   (smile)  How does he do that?

I told the boys it was my husband .. and walked outside to take the call…. My husband asked me right off the bat.. where are you?   (smile).. I told him I was at my student’s hair salon with the other foreign teacher and that she was getting her hair cut and dyed… he asked me if I was okay.. and I said .. yes I am good… and he then asked if I was being good…. (smile).. I said… always… and he just laughed.   After going over some other personal stuff….He asked me to speak to my Irish friend so he could say hello…(I know he was doing a double check to make sure I was telling the truth.. he isnt sly) She said hello and told him what she was doing… (he must of asked her) then said be careful and good-bye.. I went back outside to give my mushy I love yous…..When I came back into the shop to find that my little friend now had 6 men working over her head at the same time…. I sat down and she smiled back over at me and said…with a gleam in her eye…. “I love China” …. we just busted out laughing…

After about 15 more minute of washing and drying of her hair.. they started to style it … they actually did a wonderful job…. well they should have with so many men working on her head at the same time… It made me kind of envious that they did not know how to do my hair… (smile)…

After the hair was finished… someone broke out a camera… and then we became the stars of China… they were snapping photos and then changing places so all 15  could get in or so the boys could get a chance to take a photo with us… in groups and one on one…. I got the main guy’s phone number and QQ number so I could make sure that I got copies of the photos.. so as soon as I get them I will post them on this blog….

We made sure that all phone numbers were exchanged and contact information was known…. (ahem.. for my Irish friend of course… I love my husband dearly….and he is pretty sexy himself) … but it is nice to know that other men find you attractive.

After we left the salon in which .. all the men left their other customers to come to the door to wave us good-bye… we met another student and foreign teacher at a tea house… (it was still early only 8:30 pm).

There we shared our wonderful outing to our male colleagues. Not surprisingly, they did not find it as thrilling as we did… I guess you had to be there.  (smile) …..

We sat at the teahouse and chatted as my male student served us and brought us small snacks and tea… the men in China really do take care of women.

From the salon to the teahouse…. we did not lift a finger.. they  served us the whole time… and would not let us pay at the tea house…My Irish friend and I decided we were going to try the massage parlor next time we have a girl’s outing…. and see what trouble we can get into there….(smile)

I really will have to agree with my Irish friend…. I Sooo Love China

until next time….

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45 thoughts on “Beauty Salon in China

  1. Hi,

    It was really interesting reading your blog. Thank you. I just moved to Hangzhou. I am loooing for anyone who can do African hair. Doesn’t have to be so professional. Do you know of any in this city?

    Thanking you,
    Petua

  2. Pingback: Beauty Salon Wall Pictures | nursesbeauty.com

  3. Coco Kennell

    Hi, I’m an Anfrican-American woman who am thinking about a move to China. I’m also an hairstylist and wondered how profitable it would be to maintain my current profession there vs. teaching English to chinese children. Do you have any references concerning the matter you wouldn’t mind sharing? BTW, I found your blog very helpful. It gives a real, and very Western perspective of life in China, especially as an African-American women. But more importantly, it relieves a lot of my anxieties of the unknown because your articles are connectable. Thanks for blogging.

    1. @Coco…. I wouldnt advise just coming over here to do hair only… first you will not be able to get a visa to do that… and depending on what city your in .. there may not be any Black people. What I do advise… is come over to teach… so you can have your visa and steady income.. and do hair on the side. I am sure Black people all over china will come to you.. if they know where you are. I know several that ask me where they can get their hair done.
      I could help you connect with people… but it is not enough just to do hair…. also.. most hair salons in China… are done by handsome, metro like men. I know it is strange but that is how they do it… you might be able to use one of their shops part time… if you connect with them… it will bring them more customers to have a foreigner working there once in a while….. just my advice.

  4. kimmy

    i would love to relocate to china for a while and do some hair there…..any ideas about contacting a salon there anyone…help

  5. solaire

    Well, I am in Xi’an, and so far I have had good experiences with the Chinese giving me a blowout and a flat iron. They even did a cute cut, too! I am just more adventurous than most, and I still have a thick head of hair on my head. Many Chinese are in fact educated about Black Hair, but they never get thr opportunity to try to do it.

  6. mariel

    i know i’m entering this heated conversation super late, and will refrain from commenting on the comments to prevent further discussion, but i was just wondering jo, is there really no hope for a black girl to find a good hairdresser in shanghai? i’m not actually black, i’m dominican, but i have really curly hair and all i want is to straighten it, but i know no place in the smaller city i’m in will be able to help me out. i’m also in the zheijiang province, so i was hoping i could make a trip to shanghai and find a place to go. all i want is a simple blowout! is that too much to ask?!

    1. Well.. i dont know where you are exactly.. however.. I did hear that there is a African woman in Yiwu… who opened a salon and she will do most everything… and braids… I havent been to her.. because that is about 4 hours from me… but my friend has… so if you email me.. i can get her number for you.

      1. Esther

        Hi, I am in the process of transitioning from permed to natural. I was about to do the big chop until I cam across your blog. I live in Hangzhou and I am not sure how far the salon is from me but can you give me the information on the African hair salon in Yiwu PLEASE??? They threw away all the black products I brought with me at the airport. I would appreciate the help. If I don’t hear back in 2 weeks I will go ahead with the Big Chop. Thanks in advance.

  7. pearls

    What! No toilet paper??!!! Then….when out in public, what do they….how do they…..how can they…..my, my, my!!!! Thanks for the heads up! I’ll do some networking with a regional company by getting set-up with autoship. Will keep a few in my purse once there, along with soap on a rope for those pesky foreigners…they know who they are!!! I wonder my Clorox Disenfecting Wipes will pass customs?!!! Huge Cheshire Cat Grin!!!!

  8. pearls

    I just LOVE this blog! Wouldn’t start my day without it!

    Mrs. Jo, all I will say is this….I may not get there for your wedding, but when I do come, I’ll notify you in advance. You won’t be able to miss me. I’ll be the sexy, tastefully dressed (in red), chamomile toned, petite, AA woman with a rice steamer under one arm and a bucket, mop and Tidy Bowel in the other! PEACE!

    1. @pearls .. girl you are crazy…(smile).. dont forget to bring some toilet paper..because although they invented paper in China… they sure dont have any in any of the bathrooms around here……

  9. jackie

    Ok, Cree: Yes, foreigners often get taken for a ride in China. Yes, I know that the price they quote us is usually at least double what you should actually pay. I have been living in China for three years and have learned this.

    However, the ‘pampering’ I was talking about is the way Chinese men treat their wives/girlfriends. My husband is Chinese. You said that Chinese guys are “a-sexual, unfeeling, unromantic, bereft of intimacy.” In my experience, this is totally untrue. Before I really had any Chinese friends or had dated any Chinese guy, I had the same stereotype in my mind, probably because of the way Asian men are portrayed in Western media. When I was 18 years old, if someone had told me I’d end up marrying a Chinese man and living in China, I would have laughed out loud because at that time I didn’t find Asian men attractive in the least. However when I started learning about Chinese culture and making Chinese friends and especially when I met and married my husband, I found that, as is true of all races or nationalities, people are individuals. Some of the stereotypes are true of some of the people and some just aren’t. And it’s my opinion that the majority of Chinese men are not the way you described them.

    1. *(standing and applauding loudly.. and nodding in aggreement)*

      Thank you Jackie for that comment… my feelings exactly… I would like to add that Cree.. you of all people should know that stereotypes do not apply to all people.

      1. Cree

        Sistas, sistas, sistas,

        First, I gotta apologize for the long lay off. Was kinda busy and traveling. You know, not to be insulting, but some of the stuff you guys say makes me shake my head. I just returned from a University in Shanghai where all the Black women have not only been single for years but have actually been told by Chinese guys that they would rather die than be with a Black woman. When time permits I suggest you guys look up the Lou Jing story in Shanghai to get an idea of how Chinese people feel about interracial relationships with Blacks in general. And in terms of women, Black women are considered worldwide to be the lowest of low. Overly-aggressive, lazy welfare mothers and it doesn’t matter how many Obama’s and Michelle’s are elected, that belief will never change until the position of Black people in the world changes. And not until Black men start placing sistas back on a pedestal. At any rate, before reading your most recent comments, I already concluded that you (like many other Black women) have been hurt one too many times by Black men and have subsequently turned your back on us. I can relate as I went through a white woman stage that bordered on pathological for a number of years back in the states and it was engendered by a number of bad relationships with Black women. Jackie and co., when you talk about personal experiences then of course what you’re saying is fine. I don’t deny that you are happy in the least and I do believe you when you say you know some good Chinese cats. I know some also. On an individual basis, its just two people in love and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, when talking about groups of people then a historical, cultural, psycho-socio approach must be taken – not just individual interactions and emotionalism. I’m aware that this is not the forum for that so we should probably only touch on it lightly. My previous comments were not based solely on what Chinese women say now but also on research on China’s past and I should’ve clarified that. My bad. Your comments on Black men is not off based either because brothers do suffer from a diseased perception of Black women that began about 500 years ago. However, to understand why Black men treat Black women the way they do one must understand the history of Black men/women relationships and the context in which they exist. Listen, I’m not Johnnie Cochran returning from the grave to defend the character of Black men. Ultimately, you guys can date whomever you like. Only an idiot would insist that you date a Black man irrespective of what kind of person he is. However, this isn’t what we are discussing ( I would be happy to if you like) here. Right now we are discussing the behavior of Chinese men in relation to women. To even come close to figuring this out we must – as I said before – take a scientific approach and not just go on feeling. Chinese women’s attitude towards Chinese men is not a recent phenomena. Its origin is in the notion that Chinese women are not considered to be equal to the men historically and are treated as such. This is not simply Cree’s opinion as a result from living here a few years. This a FACT! Jackie, I am not debating the traits of Chinese guys as individual people but I challenge any one of you to refute my statements about them as a group. You simply can’t and there’s no point in attempting to. Lastly, I sincerely apologize for injecting this subject matter and tone into this particular forum cause again, this is probably not the place for it. If you want me to stop posting I can dig that and will do as you wish.

        1. @cree… wow…I want to first tell you that… as this is my blog… i write about my life experiences and my time living here in China. I have lived here for 2 years and i will continue to live here for a long while unless something changes. I am not here to critique or belittle any other nationality. I am here sharing MY experiences. Although, we all know the world it not perfect…. and that interracial relationships are not easy by far…. and I am not here to say that life is easy here in China… because i know for damn sure it is not. However, I am here to prove it is possible…. to meet a good Chinese man,…. and have a decent life living here in China

          As for Black men… i never refer to them in my blog… due to the fact that .. I have not dated one…. however, the male members of my family … who are black men… are wonderful examples of Good Black men.

          I am sorry your friends had so much trouble in Shanghai… however, i have been there several time .. and with all the foreigner around… I presume it is much easier than the small city I live in.

          Living here and dealing with the Chinese people has a lot to do with attitude. If you come in here not willing to change and accept the differences… then you will not be accepted. They live in a closed society.. and only know what has been told to them thru the government… so it is up to us expats to prove them wrong… is it like America over here…. NO… not in the least…. does everyone want to be around you… NO… of course not… I am not here to negate the fact that there are some Asses over here… I am here only to share my experiences and thoughts and feelings with those who are interested in hearing them.

          As for the past…. every country has a bad history…. come on… but…how can you move forward if your always looking backward?

          Thank you for reading my blog… and I did post it and want you to continue to read it… because…. your opinion is of valued… even if I do not agree with it.

    2. Cree

      To the person that asked “why are you living here”? Please don’t descend into mindless questioning. There is no connection between my reason for living here and my statements about the Chinese. If you cannot refute my observations and experiences intelligently (like Jackie did) then please refrain from commenting. You sound just like they do whenever someone offers a critique. Tantrum time. At any rate, sister Jackie, “in your experience” are the operative words. Your husband sounds like a million bucks and I gotta give you props for landing one like that. By no means am I doubting the ones in your immediate vicinity are like that either. But, he is the exception. I actually had an inordinate amount of respect for them before coming here and living amongst them for 5 years and counting. And, I have taught and traveled all throughout China – the civilized cities as well. Frankly, what you guys are saying I’ve never heard from any other foreigner before and especially never Black people. My comments on the Chinese are based on experience, research and from the mouths of Chinese girls/women and men themselves. I also have a number of Chinese friends. Again, I’ve taught adult classes just about everywhere and nothing but complaints are uttered out of the mouths of Chinese females. So much so that many of them are looking for extra-marital affairs. Stereotypes have validity if you are focused on a controlled environment or on cultural directives. To deny that there is a ‘ghetto mentality’ amongst brothers and sisters living in a poor neighborhood is absurd. To argue against most Blacks loving Soul music or the prejudice of most whites from certain places is idiotic. To deny that there are certain patterns of behavior amongst a group of people who exist in a heavily censored patriarchal nation and have never left is even more absurd. Lastly, it is insanely easy for foreign men to get women here. Almost surreal. Its never been this easy for me (or foreign men in general) with any other Ethnic group. And its not a financial thing either cause many of them never even ask for money. Obviously, there is some sort of void that is being filled and its something they’re missing from their guys. Come on people, ask around, really, really look around, read.

      1. @Cree… Thank you for your comments.. and your suggestions. We will take those into consideration. We all have our own experiences that shape who we are and how we think. And on this topic… We will agree to “disagree” … okay?

        Thank you for reading.. and I wish you much happiness in the future. Since I am no longer single.. but married to a wonderful man… I do not want you other BW out there to be afraid or disappointed by Cree’s words: following your hearts on who you want to date and marry… There are a lot of Asian man “exceptions” out there…and many of my friends have found them.

        much love

    3. Cree

      Sista Jackie, its me again. You know, I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. Probably more than you realize. And, I think its great you found a space where you can be happy and carve out a comfortable existence. However, for you to not agree with me is equivalent to not agreeing with reality just because it unsettles you. This is none of my business but you never dating a Black man before is a little disturbing. I mean, the first place we learn about relationships is within our own group before we branch out. I concur about your “looking back/not moving forward” statement somewhat. Looking back just to look back is a colossal waste. But looking back in order to get clarity of the present in order to make a solid future is necessary. Here’s the other thing. Having the right ‘attitude’ when traveling abroad or when doing anything in life is critical. Absolutely. However, that principle doesn’t apply here. If a person complains about Chinese buses being packed or KFC’s prices then that can be placed in the ‘whiny foreigner’ category. But when a foreigner makes well thought out comments about the way these people think and behave (towards Black people in particular) then I fail to see how this is connected to my having the ‘right attitude’. Case in point: Walking down the street we are hit with a fusillade of stares and insults, i.e., Black Monkey / Black Ghost / Black Devil or African (African in China is a euphemism for nigger) ad nauseam. Incessant finger pointing and derision. How is this a reflection of my attitude sista Jackie? Just once I’d like to hear you talk about the ‘attitude’ of Chinese people as a whole. Lastly, to the sistas that are thinking about relocating to China in search of a Chinese Barry White/Teddy Pendergrass, understand that most of these cats are nothing like Jackie’s husband who I gotta give props to for being open minded and treating Jackie well.

      1. Cree.. first my name is Jo second.. i thank you for again coming back to my website and yes i have talked about the pointing and staring in my blog .. on stop pointing and staring check it out… and yes i have discussed how difficult the closed culture is here and I have explained that China isnt for everyone and I really do not think .. that the women that read my blog are all going to jump up and run to china to find their mate. I am just giving them inspiration to find the man they desire .. in their country.. in America, UK, Australia, Netherlands Japan.. whereever I am just showing them that it is not impossible. If i can find my soul mate in China.. with all the prejudices and cultural differences.. then they can find theirs where they are I am in no way or no how promoting that all Black women come to China. but.. I do share my experiences bad and good I dont just focus on the negative.

        As for you having a problem with me not dating black men. first you dont know my story. I went to an all white school and a private all white girls university. so there were not black men to date.. and when I got older No black men were interested in me. and the hood rats that were I was not interested in. so do not challenge me about who i should have dated not not dated I am my own person .. and I have my individual choices. If a decent Black man had approached me and wanted to date me or have a relationship with me that was not only about getting him some .. then i would have went out with him but i didnt have that opportunity. and I do not feel I should have forced myself to date men i am not interested in .. just to experience my own race . So you can say what you want about that but dont judge me and my life choices.

        I feel you .., hold a lot of bitterness for the Chinese people and maybe you have experienced some very bad things if so I am sorry and if you want.. to share those.. i would be happy to let you guest blog once in awhile.. but my website is not going to be an avenue to show Hate toward China and its people because .. there are good points and bad points in every country and when you live abroad .. you have to expect these things.

        I am a person that the glass is half full and with all the uncomfortness i feel with some pointing and staring and laughing or name calling I still look at the beautiful things.. and the people that I have met here that are kind and caring.. and will be close friends to me for a long time and the love of my husband when you focus on these things the other things are all.. just background noise..

        Thank you again for reading Cree, much peace love and happiness Jo

      2. Cree

        Sista Jo, sorry for calling you Jackie and even more sorry for a number of accusations I made. I didn’t read your entire blog history and thus mistook you for a China apologist. I was wrong, no ifs, ands or buts about it. I also agree that this is your site and it should be run the way you deem fit. So, its best for me to keep my polemics off of here. Now you know I wouldn’t be Cree if I didn’t disagree with something so here goes. While there are a number of pros about living here, I’m sorry, but in the final analysis, there are way more cons. I guess it comes down to how important is the pro (your husband) as opposed to the cons (Chinese behavior) and that warrants no rejoinder. I know. At any rate, I can still dig your glass half full/half empty way of thinking. Lastly, (and this is probably gonna really piss you off) you should’ve dated a brother first and foremost. I understand that there were slim pickings and I can appreciate your environmental limitations. However, can you say candidly that there wasn’t one decent cat in the mix? That they all subscribed to ‘Thug Life’. Not one respectable Black man? Am I really the only one left? Just kidding. I don’t know sista, I see some avoidance leanings when it comes to Black men.

        1. LMAO… I like how you apologize but throw in a jab at the end.. hehehehe… anyway I accept your apology…. and we will agree to not agree on the Black man thing…. although my last word on it.. is that .. I personally have not found a black man… (that is not a movie star, model or singer) .. that i find physically attractive.. and then that wants the same goals or has anything in common with me. So.. Im sorry…However, i am not saying other women cant date BM… i dont judge like that…. However… you are right there are pros and cons… here in China… and my big pro is my husband… and because of that.. and the choices we have made to live here… I need try to make adjustments… and that means mental adjustments also….. i really do thank you for reading my blog…you keep me on my toes… hehehe…

  10. jackie

    I can totally relate to this blog entry. The first time I got my hair cut in China I was blown away; I remember writing home to some of my friends how I was literally surrounded by, like, 20 good-looking guys (it was a big salon). And they did a really excellent job, so careful to get everything just perfect. Then I found a salon near my place that would wash your hair for 5 RMB, so I went about 4 to 5 times a week for a few months! Haha.

    Now that I’m married, I don’t go to the salon so often. But it has definitely been my experience that Chinese guys really do pamper their girls, at least the good ones are like that.

    1. Cree

      Guys, you are foreigners (Americans?) in a Third World country. They’re probably convinced you live and breather money. When I enter any store I get a similar reaction – and I also get charged double the price. This “pampering” that you are talking about is not applied to Chinese customers. Just ask around.

      1. @Cree… we are not stupid… and we know how to bargain as well as the next guy… I do not know where you are.. but I am in the south part of china… Zhejiang province… considered one of the wealthier provinces..in china. And the chinese here… get the same service in the salons.. as we do.. every place will try to charge anyone double or more… but as a person that lives in china.. you know that everyone has to bargain for everything. If you are so against our view of china and you think it is so horrible.. why are you living here?

  11. Cree

    Not sure if this sister is delusional or attention-starved. Maybe she’s only been here for a short period of time. Either way, I’m a Black American male and have been living in various parts of China for years. The guys that she described are anything but normative in here. 95% of Chinese girls will tell you that the most a-sexual, unfeeling, unromantic, bereft of intimacy guys are Chinese. Make no mistake about it, they’ll bust their behinds in order to make ends meet for their families and they are ‘responsible’ – which I’m reminded of repeatedly. But “really do take care of their women”? Are you kidding me? My advise is for you to travel around China in order to get a holistic understanding and not confine yourself to one or two westernized/civilized areas. Most Chinese guys upon seeing a Black woman would run away screaming “Black Ghost/Devil”. They’re also too insecure sexually to approach a white one. I’ve been on double dates with Chinese guys upon realization that they might have to have sex with a foreigner would sweat bricks and shiver like they’re in the North Pole. No lie. That said, it could also be that some of the guys are wising up like the girls did years ago. Fix yourself up, make yourself more attractive to foreigners, latch on to one of them and receive the corresponding benefits.

    1. @Cree… I am neither delusional or attention-starved.. I am experienced and mature. And you my have lived in China for longer than my 2 years.. One question I have for you is… Have you ever dated an Chinese man? … I have been dating Asian men for many years…and this is my second marriage to a Chinese man. (one ABC) and it doesnt matter what Asian girls have told you.. They are not us… and they do not know what we experience or how Chinese men treat us…. Maybe they treat us better than them… you know .. like most Black men treat other races of women better than Black women…. or . Maybe they feel that way because of how they act toward their husbands and boyfriends. I have spoken to many Chinese girls here.. and they basically pay no attention whatsoever to their men.. Now mind you .. maybe they treat foreign men differently.. because.. they are fascinated and excited to have something different. but I know for a fact the local chinese girls.. do not treat their local men … in a good way. Most dont even know how to cook or even clean their own houses…. (there parents and parents-in-law do it for them.) nor do they care how their man feels or ask him about his job.

      As a Black man here in China .. it figures you would think this way. Since, you have obviously dated many women here in China that are Asian. Can you tell me what kind of men.. Black women should date…ole’ wised one? You dont know my experiences and you dont know me. I am happy to post your opinion because it means you read my blog… Thank you.. maybe from reading it.. you can learn something, from my experiences and my knowledge… .I am always happy to educate…

  12. pearls

    It most definitely is the western influence! Let me tell you, istead of being Jack and the Beanstalk…it’s going to be Pearls and the Beanstalk! Girl, I’m going to climb that stalk and get to that sleeping giant! See, you got me started! Whew! It makes me want to go into law enforcement and make some arrests outside of my jurisdiction! LOL! Okay! I’m stopping now! Be Blessed!

  13. pearls

    Sometimes I wonder what’s gotten into me! It’s not like I’ve never seen Asian men before, because I most definitely have and it’s a daily occurrence where I live. But is it me or has something changed about them?! To me, I’ve noticed their physiques have broadened (which caused me to take notice-chest area/arms/shoulders), their hairstyles have changed (especially the off the face tousled/ruffled look), and some are a lot taller! Being an a-drama fan, two of my favorite Chinese actors are Ming Dao (the most recent one) and Deng Chao. Girl, do you recall in the states during the times when you almost dreaded walking pass a construction site because of the flirting and cat calls? Well, my behavior becomes similar to construction workers when I see some of these men in the dramas dressed to the nines! I surprise myself sometimes! LOL! Yet, I’ll not apologize because I have eyes to see and when they’re fine, I’m going to acknowledge the TRUTH! LOL!Law-dy!!!

    1. they have changed a lot.. you are correct… they are stronger, larger, sexier, more fashionable… i dont know if it is the western culture that has influenced them.. or what.. but girl.. they have changed.. a lot….people better look out … we have awaken a sleeping giant…. hehehe….

  14. pearls

    Ditto! That treatment alone is enough to justify a trip there. That kind of pampering would definitely fuel my feminine pheromones! Also, looking forward to seeing the other pictures.

  15. Wrissa

    Okay, now that sounds like my kind of adventure. haha Maybe I should move to China too. Can’t wait for the pictures.

  16. bailan

    this is why i get a hair wash AT LEAST 3 times a month. i never get tired of the attention of cute boys.

    also, in the beginning they were very patient with me learning and struggling with chinese. or, they were a captive audience (can run away when you’re washing my hair now can you!)

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