If I hear about China’s Long History One More Time……


Okay … I honestly think that at birth the Chinese people are taught that the answer to any question regarding what they do or the excuse to anything that happens  is …..“You see.. China has 7000 years of history and tradition…..”

History, China

Now, I have been around many folks that are very proud of their country.  The Hispanic community loves their countries so much they carry the flags around on their bodies and in their cars.  Even though they have left the country to live in the states.. they are still … screaming .. “Viva la Mexico”, or what ever country they come from all over the place.   But I have never in all my … ahem… 29 years .. seen so many people who will blame everything single thing that people do, ….eat,…. say,…. drink,…. or  feel.. on their 7000 years of history.

It is irritating to say the least… Come on people!…. I know that China has a long fascinating history and that you have fought many civil wars and have had many beautiful creations like the great wall, the clay warriors, and the Imperial Palace. You even invented a couple of things.. compass, gunpower and paper….  However, .. You can not blame everything that happens on the damn history.

Whenever I mention the American view of something.. they always throw out that our history is only 200 years long.  As if we are only small children that do not know what we are doing or talking about…. I always reply with the fact that … we have invented almost everything in the world in those short 200 years…. so we are pretty clever children .. I would say.

I honestly do not understand why a country that has so much wonderful history and the ability to progress so much, still uses some very archaic ways to do things.

For example, they feel that washing clothes in a machine does not get the clothes clean. Only washing them by hand can truly give you clean clothes…(this from folks that take few baths because it is not good for your health) Now you tell me… how can my hands out clean a machine .. with a motor and an agitator?  Get real people… a machine is faster and stronger….than a man…. (as it was proved in the John Henry story that I heard when I was a kid) so thus cleans better… maybe they don’t know how to use the machine so they think this way.  Hmmmm….

Another example, would be the way they have air conditioners and heaters when it is cold or very hot here in the south… but do not turn them on, because it is not good for your health.   Their history tells them that in the winter they should open the windows to let air in all the time, and wear your coat on the inside of the house and to bed because it is cold.  Although, you have a heater don’t turn it on, or you will get sick.

Does this make any kind of sense?  Why the hell would you have a heater if you don’t turn it on.   Isnt freezing to death a kind of sickness? And you are wearing your coat to bed.. that should tell you something….  I think pneumonia is bad for my health.. however… what do I know I only have 200 years of history.

I find some traditions in China very helpful.. like walking in fresh air after dinner, drinking water as much as possible.  However, listen to me Chinese people… water is not the miracle drug for health.. if you have a very bad cold from sleeping with the window open in the wintertime… drinking hot water alone is not going to cure you.  You need some medicine.   I learned this from my 200 years of history, by the way.

Ahh China.. don’t know what to do about your people… so stubborn and set in their ways that it is amazing to me how they ever progressed this far …However… be very afraid China…. because I have learned your ancient Chinese secret ….I an American Black woman.. have found your secret out…. the answer and cure for all that is …. if your are hungry or thirsty… if your confused or lost… if you need to build anything or create anything… the secret item you need…. shhhhhhh….. GREEN TEA…. yep…

that is it… their secret weapon…. green tea.. is the answer to all that is bad and good in the world…. put it in food, hair products, skin products… building materials, make up, clothes, toilet cleaner…gunpowder…. everything…. it is green tea people…listen to me…. run tell your family and friends…. green tea is what they have been hiding all these 7000 years …. and now the secret is out…..I told it… wahhhhahhhaaahhh… wait… shhhh… don’t let them know I told you…you may not hear from me again….

until next time….

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26 thoughts on “If I hear about China’s Long History One More Time……

  1. This is hillarious! I can’t stop laughing when I read this. You are right about the washing machine thing. There was a friend of mine, she’s chinese, and somehow she’s just stubborn. She doesn’t want to use the washing machine because she said it is believed in china, sharing the machine with too many people can get you sick because you don’t know what other illnesses other people are having (we were living in a hostel, which off course housed in 20 something people). Then she proudly said she always wash with hands because it can counts as exercise and make her clothes cleaner by the same time.

    Well, the funny thing is she always “forget” to wash or “don’t have time” to wash. And one time I visit her in her room. The moment she opened the door, I can smell the stench, I don’t know where the hell the awful smell came from. And the moment I stepped in to her room, I saw this huge pile of dirty clothes piled as high as my waist. Then the irony went through my mind then I just decided not to visit her room anymore until she “remembers” to wash her clothes, be it by hand or by the freaking washing machine.

    And she’s also the only person that I know that like to eat the skin from poultry (especially the fried crunchy one like KFC has always make it special by the colonel), and proudly said “We chinese, have a long history, and we believe that whatever part of the animal that we eat will enhance our own body part better than before. So if I eat this poultry skin, my skin will become smoother and more beautiful.”

    And I said “that is cholesterol and injected hormones”. And she said “no lah, this will make my skin brighter”. Well, she’s not the brightest chinese that I ever met anyway, but it’s sad that she brings the china’s long history in everything she does. 😛

  2. Dan

    I didn’t know it was 7000 years. The age of Chinese history seems to have expanded even more over the few decades. It used to be 3000 years until they had more archeological evidence. Then 5000 years because it sounds nicer. Now its Seven millenia? Lol, I guess whatever works, I’m fine with it.

      1. Dan

        I’m going to follow this bet too. People screaming 10,000 years soon.

        On a slightly more serious note, I”m kind of afraid people are going to start reverting back to those archaic ways of living frugal. Just saying. So much pollution and not enough resources and energy, so people will have to find another more sustainable way of living. That is assuming technology doesn’t advanced fast enough. If those researchers don’t come up with something soon, a lot of the great inventions in the last 200 years will go to waste. btw, most of the issues you all are facing in China is how the average Chinese person has been living in the fast whatever thousand of years. How the more wealthy and powerful Chinese person lived was kind of different. Just “a little bit” more different.

        1. @Dan.. you are right… things do not seem to progressing like they use to… The more wealthy chinese are a little different your right.. but… you will catch them doing the same crazy stuff sometimes… hehehe…

    1. jackie

      I majored in Chinese in college, and in my Chinese culture class (taught by an American professor), he explained to us that while the Chinese often brag about their 5000 years of history (that’s usually the number I hear) there is only archaeological evidence (i.e. writing carved into oracle bones) dating to–can’t remember exactly–somewhere between 3 and 4000 years. So, anyhow, that’s what I know about that.

  3. Ami

    You my dear are hilarious!!! It’s the truth though and I go through some of this with dear hubby… He gets too patriotic on me sometimes and goes into that darn history bit and will come down heavy on the US. Sometimes I just ask him, well why in the world were your parents so anxious to have you come to school here then? It’s a funny conversation, but quite annoying and he knows it lol.

    I am very hot natured and we have conflict over temperature in the home and I can barely use the central air like I would like to! Yeah and don’t let me get sick 😦 … Chinese way all the way until I am better lol.

    1. See… Ami.. i knew you would feel my pain… my husband is EXACTLY.. like that.. i have to walk around and close the damn windows.. and turn on the air in the summer… I told him .. he was trying to slowly kill me… he just told me to drink some hot water… hehehe pitiful…

    1. @What… Well.. because… I was asked to come here to educated and enlighten the masses.. also.. My husband is Chinese and he would like me to be with him in his country. Now… How would you feel If i told you .. to go back to your country if you were living in the states? You wouldnt like that very much would you… that just shows that everything I said about China was true… Now… when you are ready to provide some educated and literate arguments in favor of your country then I would be happy to hear them .. and if you do not like my blogs or website … You are free to NOT read them. because unlike the traditional Chinese I am very accepting of different people and of their opinions. Humor .. learn what it is?

      1. osirus

        Touche!

        You know Chinese people can be very sensitive and don’t take to well to criticism, whether it be positive or negative, so when they say “you don’t like, go back to your country” remember it’s because they have nothing better to say.

  4. bwoutofthebox

    This post is so funny. Although I don’t think you thought some of the incidents were funny at the time. You’re right about their stubborness. My husband and I lived in a building owned by Chinese immigrants. They didn’t like to turn the heat on until we complained to the San Francisco health dept. Next when a pipe burst in the kitchen, the manager took his sweet time in getting it fixed. When it got fixed, it really wasn’t fixed. However, when I tutored or taught English, my students were eager to learn. I guess that’s the difference between the two generations. The older people who we lived with were much more stubborn than the young students I taught. I guess those 7000 years do wear off of the younger generation in the U.S. I couldn’t imagine teaching and in China just by some of the ways you describe their habits. Plus, I would become deathly ill. http://bwoutofthebox.wordpress.com

  5. Kelly

    Bahahaha! I LOVE this post!!!!!!!!!

    (However, I am now being schooled on the Chinese way of thinking by my fiance – thanks a million…!)

    Oh, and another Chinese secret for fixing anything that is broken – chopsticks!! My friend had a toilet that was leaking and our handyman shoved a piece of a chopstick in it, another time there was something wrong with some wiring, so they got out…you guessed it…chopsticks!

    Now their secrets are out!!

      1. Kelly

        They’re a regular batch of MacGyvers here, aren’t they!

        FYI, the discussion about Chinese beliefs went from “just because you have a lot of experience doesn’t mean you’re always right” to “but it’s our habit and people here don’t like to change their habits” to “but if China really expects to contend on the world stage, they might have to have more open minds” to “but China doesn’t want to end up like Russia, so the government can’t let people be too open to other ideas.”

        So somehow, opening the windows in the dead of winter is crucial to national stability.

        Aiya, I will try and try, but likely never totally understand!

        1. I know right? And it all boils down to the fact that … they all learn advance math in primary school… so they can get good factory jobs.. and keep the economy stable… wow… You know.. i just thought about it… that is why they are so good in math… that damn “green tea” …. where is my cup? I need to do some addition… .

      2. pearls

        I’m going to invest in some chopsticks. Which are best, the original, enameled ones with the point at the end or the generic, wooden unfinished ones used to eat fast food? hehehe

        I need something that’s multi-purpose like that which
        can go from being used as self-defense object hidden in my afro hairdo to a fix-it-in-a-pinch tool! Yeaaa…to an all purpose gadget! LOL!

      3. pearls

        HOWLING over here! I forgot about the stainless steel metal ones…have being seeing those in some Asian drama…watch out now! I must invest in them for sure! LOL!

  6. pearls

    You are too funny! DITTO! Tell it like it TIS, Girl!

    You’re definitely not alone with the no heat experience! I’ve had those experiences with heat included apartments I lived in over the past years in the windy city that always fell short of their promise to provide adequate heat when needed! Their concept was more towards being el cheapo due to a stupid city ordinance that abetted them! Then had the audacity to tell their tenants they can’t use space heaters! Well guess who had a few and dared them to say something about it…especially when the wind chill factor is -20 below zero after midnight! Thankfully, the areas where I lived didn’t have any electrical shortages, like in some other locations. The mind is truly a wonder…and some peoples mindset over here makes me wonder! LOL!

    About the ahhhh secret weapon…we’ll talk!

    1. I was so fed up with it.. I brought my heater to work with me… and sat it right beside my chair.. didnt share it with any of them… they said.. why dont you share.. i was like …sorry.. it is bad for your health…. hehehhe…

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