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There was a controversial article written recently regarding Chinese immigrant workers marrying African Women.  For those few that did not see this article.. I have placed the link below.

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/06/chinese-workers-in-africa-who-marry-locals-face-puzzled-reception-at-home/240662/

 

I have been asked on several occasion about my opinion regarding this article and the uproar it is causing all over the world.   So, I decided to write my thoughts about this article and the situation.   Please note these are my person opinions and how I perceive the situation from where I am here in China.

I have noticed several opinions regarding this so-called trend of marrying African women.  Actually, it makes sense for these Chinese immigrants to marry African women.  The main word here is immigrants.. they have immigrated or worked in Africa so it is normal for them to connect with african women.   But, the big thing is how the Chinese people as a whole are reacting to it.

From where I stand I can see exactly how that would happen.  Most Chinese people have a very traditional way of looking at life.   They are focused on “how it has always been”  as a whole they really don’t like change or to stand out from the crowd.   Therefore, if their son brings home a woman who obviously stands out it is going to make the family look bad and thus, Lose Face.    I really don’t think people understand how important face is to the people here.   I honestly think they would rather cut off their toes than to let someone think something bad about their family, or themselves.   Of course they would then have to hide their toes because that would make people talk about them for not having all their toes.

As I have reminded many people, the has not been a Chinese Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. nor has there been any kind of major civil rights movement.  So, the overall Chinese thinking is almost the same as the deep south before the this time.    However, it is even worse than then because here almost every person looks similar so the differences stand out more.   You might think this is crazy but there are some Chinese people who won’t even marry outside their Province let alone their race.  So, you can see where all this is headed.

I also feel a big reason is that they can’t make sense of it.  What I mean is this, Chinese do not usually marry for love they marry for stability, face and material things.   Therefore, these Chinese men are marrying women from a third world country.. in their minds….WHY?   They can’t get any money from them, they can’t get a good reputation from them, they can’t move to a better country… why marry them?    The same attitude was giving when my husband married me.   People around us were worried about Why we got married.   Not that it is any of their business, but they continually ask my husband if I was rich, or when is he moving to America.   They just can’t understand any other reason he would want to marry me.   Love is not really any consideration .. not even a thought….

I was actually shocked when one of my colleagues at school said to me….”Jo you will stay in China forever because you love your husband so much”    I said NO… i stay in China because right now it is not time for me to go back to America. When the time is right I will go back.   She then said “what will your husband do when you go back to America?”    This was a crazy question in my mind…. So I told her… uhhh… go with me… he is my husband.   She was totally surprised.  This is because .. they do not look at marriage the same way as we do.

I think the article was informative but when you read the comments on the original article you can see the hatred and ignorance that is still rampant through the people of China.   I think a few bad eggs have spoiled it for other Black women.  One big thing is some Africans come over and commit crimes, are loud and dress very open.  This gives the locals a bad perception of Black people as a whole.   They don’t know the difference between Africans, African-Americans, African English… etc.   They just know the skin is dark so they are bad people.   There is a lot of bad information and bad publicity out there that form the mindset of the Chinese people regarding Black people.

It is changing with the younger generations, but it will take a long time for the whole country to accept it.   It is not easy living in China as a Black woman… not only is our skin different, our bodies are different, our manners are different and in some people’s eyes we are stupid, ugly and animals.    Dealing with that kind of attitude everyday of your life can bring you down.   I have good days and bad days… but I have the strong love of my husband to help me through it.

I feel for these new wives that are coming to China.  They are going to have a hard time.   I can only hope and pray that their love is strong … and their skin is thick….

 

until next time…

 

 

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