RE: Controversial Article on Chinese men marrying African Women


 

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There was a controversial article written recently regarding Chinese immigrant workers marrying African Women.  For those few that did not see this article.. I have placed the link below.

http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/06/chinese-workers-in-africa-who-marry-locals-face-puzzled-reception-at-home/240662/

 

I have been asked on several occasion about my opinion regarding this article and the uproar it is causing all over the world.   So, I decided to write my thoughts about this article and the situation.   Please note these are my person opinions and how I perceive the situation from where I am here in China.

I have noticed several opinions regarding this so-called trend of marrying African women.  Actually, it makes sense for these Chinese immigrants to marry African women.  The main word here is immigrants.. they have immigrated or worked in Africa so it is normal for them to connect with african women.   But, the big thing is how the Chinese people as a whole are reacting to it.

From where I stand I can see exactly how that would happen.  Most Chinese people have a very traditional way of looking at life.   They are focused on “how it has always been”  as a whole they really don’t like change or to stand out from the crowd.   Therefore, if their son brings home a woman who obviously stands out it is going to make the family look bad and thus, Lose Face.    I really don’t think people understand how important face is to the people here.   I honestly think they would rather cut off their toes than to let someone think something bad about their family, or themselves.   Of course they would then have to hide their toes because that would make people talk about them for not having all their toes.

As I have reminded many people, the has not been a Chinese Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. nor has there been any kind of major civil rights movement.  So, the overall Chinese thinking is almost the same as the deep south before the this time.    However, it is even worse than then because here almost every person looks similar so the differences stand out more.   You might think this is crazy but there are some Chinese people who won’t even marry outside their Province let alone their race.  So, you can see where all this is headed.

I also feel a big reason is that they can’t make sense of it.  What I mean is this, Chinese do not usually marry for love they marry for stability, face and material things.   Therefore, these Chinese men are marrying women from a third world country.. in their minds….WHY?   They can’t get any money from them, they can’t get a good reputation from them, they can’t move to a better country… why marry them?    The same attitude was giving when my husband married me.   People around us were worried about Why we got married.   Not that it is any of their business, but they continually ask my husband if I was rich, or when is he moving to America.   They just can’t understand any other reason he would want to marry me.   Love is not really any consideration .. not even a thought….

I was actually shocked when one of my colleagues at school said to me….”Jo you will stay in China forever because you love your husband so much”    I said NO… i stay in China because right now it is not time for me to go back to America. When the time is right I will go back.   She then said “what will your husband do when you go back to America?”    This was a crazy question in my mind…. So I told her… uhhh… go with me… he is my husband.   She was totally surprised.  This is because .. they do not look at marriage the same way as we do.

I think the article was informative but when you read the comments on the original article you can see the hatred and ignorance that is still rampant through the people of China.   I think a few bad eggs have spoiled it for other Black women.  One big thing is some Africans come over and commit crimes, are loud and dress very open.  This gives the locals a bad perception of Black people as a whole.   They don’t know the difference between Africans, African-Americans, African English… etc.   They just know the skin is dark so they are bad people.   There is a lot of bad information and bad publicity out there that form the mindset of the Chinese people regarding Black people.

It is changing with the younger generations, but it will take a long time for the whole country to accept it.   It is not easy living in China as a Black woman… not only is our skin different, our bodies are different, our manners are different and in some people’s eyes we are stupid, ugly and animals.    Dealing with that kind of attitude everyday of your life can bring you down.   I have good days and bad days… but I have the strong love of my husband to help me through it.

I feel for these new wives that are coming to China.  They are going to have a hard time.   I can only hope and pray that their love is strong … and their skin is thick….

 

until next time…

 

 

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32 thoughts on “RE: Controversial Article on Chinese men marrying African Women

  1. nay

    Do you think if more black women try to prove sterotypes and try and change the view of black women, do you think more chinese men would consider marrying black women?

  2. nay

    Do you think if more black women try to change the steroypes and views, then do you think more chinese men would consider marrying black women.

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  4. blah

    “Jean Ping (born 24 November 1942[1][2][3]) is a Gabonese diplomat and politician who is currently the Chairperson of the Commission of the African Union.[3][4] He was previously the Foreign Minister of Gabon from 1999 to 2008 and served as President of the United Nations General Assembly from 2004 to 2005.

    The son of Chinese trader Cheng Zhiping (Chinese: 程志平 Chéng Zhìpíng) of Wenzhou descent, and a Gabonese mother,[2] Jean Ping was born in Omboué, Etimbwé Department, Ogooué-Maritime Province. In 1972, he began working at UNESCO in its Sector for External Relations and Cooperation as an international civil servant.[1][3”

  5. Stan

    Hello.
    I really like this piece. I found it very informative. I am a black female from the caribbean and my boyfriend is a native chinese. We have been together for 1 year and from the start his family has rejected me and continue to ask him WHY has he choosen me and that he should find a rich and/or chinese girl instead. So, I am at my wits end and searching online for answers. From my academic studies I always knew chinese ppl were communal and had a dislike for blacks from slaver days. However, reading your article gave me a clearer understanding of the situation in a contemporary light and reinforced what my boyfriend has been telling me all along. Learn to ignore the negativity, be more thick-skinned, and have faith. I agree with you that the situation is very hard, I can’t imagine our relationship lasting if our love doesn’t stay strong.

    Thanks for a great read! 🙂

    1. @Stan…stay strong and give it some time… they will eventually see that your the one he loves and wants to be with. It is hard.. but keep your eye on the prize a happy wonderful marriage with your boyfriend. There are those of us out here… living your dream so dont give up…. you will win them over…

    2. Vi Qiong

      China is a big country with a huge population and almost 100% homogenous. It shd be quite understandable that they will find reasons to be surprised with Chinese men marrying African women.

      Like you said, you will need thick skin to see you through. I believe you will. In China, behave like the Chinese and you will be ok.

      I am a Chinese of other nationality.

  6. blackandyellow

    Just wanted to ad my 2 cents. I recently had a horrible experience while trying to flag down a bus in a not so good neighborhood. There was a car waiting for a light to change with about four Asians, not sure if some were guys or girls, but the driver was a guy. To my horror the person sitting opposite him was holding up a cell phone in my direction video taping me. I was shocked and I was wondering why? I am an average person, not a size 2 or anything, trying to get home from a tiring day at school. They were all laughing. The scary part is that the video could end up online, and I was being laughed at and video taped without my consent. Just wondering when will it ever end? I was surprised they had the guts to do this in a neighborhood where a fight could have ensued and alot of people would have joined in. I tried to hide my face with my jacket, and cover my face with my hand, and they just kept at it. So I guess this kind of ignorance (picture taking, racist behavior) doesn’t just take place in China.

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  8. I don’t know what the ___ll is wrong with people. Leave other folks alone and go about your business. We’re on this earth for such a short time — why spend it being hateful?

  9. Holly~

    Sometimes I wonder why people can’t just get on with their lives and let others do the same. It’s things like this that just make me cringe, I think I’m losing my faith in humanity, or at least certain Chinese people’s narrow minded and materialistic idea of what ‘marriage’ is all about. Sometimes I wonder, what if my skin was dark, I was fat or I was from a poor country, or a bad background, would my current Chinese boyfriend still REALLY love me? I truly hope one day there won’t even be a need to address such a ridiculous and trivial issue. I hope these admirable Black women can stay strong in the face of China’s ridiculously backwards face or ‘shame culture’.

  10. @ Shumin

    You kick ass. You ever want a writing job at the Blasian Narrative, all you have to is ask.

    @ Krystal Chu

    You are incredible for making it through something like that. Did any of your friends come to your defense at all?

    The irony is that people like that are incredibly narcissistic; they think they are the very paradigm of civilization. It never even occurs to them how negatively they are representing their own people. And as Shumin put out, it does tend to repel black women.

  11. I agree with your comments, Jo. I also want to add that Amerikans are a better example of folks who don’t like change. Amerikans have historically not liked Asian people (Asian means anyone who looks Chinese to most Amerikans), examples are the Chinese Exclusion Act and many of the new immigration laws that allow deportation of people suspected of being undocumented immigrants without a hearing and without an attorney). Just think Chinese and all other Asian people are more than half of the world population but they are barely 5% of the U.S. total population which to me shows major racism and hatred toward Asian people. If Chinese people have lost face, Amerikkans have lost their whole body and soul. Go figure!

    I also don’t see how Amerikkans can tell other countries how to run their government when Bush and all thee other Tea Farts and Repblicans allow corporations to have billions in profits and pay no taxes.

  12. I have read the article and the comments that have been translated. The article itself was encouraging with the idea that the mindset of others are changing but the comments try to paint a different picture.

    There is ugliness throughout the world but within it all beauty prevails.

  13. v

    Thanks so much for writing about this. When the article came out, I was wondering what your thoughts were.

    It will be interesting to see if these Chinese immigrants will stay in Africa or return to China at some point with their African wives in tow. Also, couldn’t help but notice the article writer seemed to be okay with “high-end black girls.” By “high-end” I’m guessing he/she means not too heavy or too dark.

    1. funny when you said.. “high end” it made me picture cattle…. which is how I think the writer was kind of leaning toward… they look kind of like Chinese minorities so it MIGHT BE acceptable….just crazy

  14. Hello Jo,

    I do not know if i have mentioned this to you before but i am of mixed heritage. My mother is Afro-native American (Blackfoot tribe) and my father Chinese by way of Jamaica. And as you may know i am attracted to Asian men . Recently while out with my Chinese friends i experienced so prejudiced and hatred when meeting with some friends of mine in invited others to join us friends who are all Taiwanese .

    After being introduced we all sat around talking as the new and the old strove to get to know one another. My friend told the newcomers of my parentage and i was met with scorn i was made fun of all night questioned about why my father fathered me where was he know did i have pictures if my mom was educated did he get a green card ect. Told i look like a regular Ol’ black girl (whatever that is ) and there is nothing special or remarkable about me by one of the newcomers and i was awesomely accused of lying about my heritage and being “One of those Asian fanatical people ” they here about .

    All in all it left me dumbfounded , hurt & adverse to meeting new people and weary of divulging my parentage. I feel now that the qualities , the FACTS that once made me feel special are now a double- edged sword and a complete hindrance. and Social stigma of a new kind.
    Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts and vent as well.

    Krystal Chu

    1. @Krystal…. I am so sorry you have had to experience that….. and this is one of those cases where you find out that …you need to control your anger because other people cant control their stupidity….You keep feeling special… because you are… unfortunately.. we live in a world that has to be balanced…. with every normal intelligent person there has to be an idiot to balance it out…. You keep your head held high and your chest out… and … sashay… sashay…. and let them just kiss your … Blasian arse

    2. Shumin

      Krystal, as a Taiwanese guy (born in Taiwan, but been living here in Australia since childhood) who loves black women and dark-skinned females from other races, I am very sorry to hear what you had to go through. People like that are an absolute embarrassment to our community, I could not be more irked by the ignorance and xenophobia they display. Growing up I have witnessed and observed the traits displayed by what Jo had been saying by many, but once I got older, I learnt to wrest myself away from such poison. I’ve since learnt to think for myself and wanted nothing to do with materialistic and status-obsessed losers. It’s stories like this that makes me what to take stand against ignorance in my community and show my support here as an Asian guy. They tarnish the names of open-minded Asian guys like me, and is the sole reason that puts off black women from us. It is vital for us to speak out lest we be put in the same horrid basket with other close-minded fools, as not all of us are all like that. So yes, thought I’d say something from my end. Respect to all those guys who are man enough sever the strictures of cultural insularity in pursuit of what they desire.

      Oh I must add, the African women here in Australia, especially the Sudanese, Eritreans and Ethiopians are amongst the sexiest!

    3. Shumin

      No problem Jo, if I was there at the scene where Krystal was being mocked I would have no hesitation in telling them off right there and then.

      1. Thank you Jo for the encouragement and perspective i will keep it in mind for the future,And again thanks so much for listening to me gripe about this .

        Thank you Shumin,

        Its comforting to know that this isn’t how all of you think this recent trauma has made me weary to the advances of a nice Taiwanese
        guy and hearing your words made me realize that i cannot put all Asian men in the same basket because of one incident I would rather believe that like minded people will cross my path more often than not ,Thanks again for your support as well.

        Krystal Chu

    4. Shumin

      You are welcome Krystal. And to assure you even further with evidence, here’s some info from a Taiwanese basketball forum about 2 Blasian basketball players in the Taiwanese highschool national teams.

      http://www.roundballcity.com/forums/thread/44237.aspx

      The picture of the first guy in the thread is half Taiwanese half Nigerian, and the other guy is half Taiwanese half South African. And yes, both of them have Taiwanese FATHERS!

      This is an article about the first Blasian guy’s Nigerian mother, she is pictured here too.

      http://www.libertytimes.com.tw/2009/new/may/10/today-fo4.htm

      Article about him

      http://ahpal.com/index.php/viewnews-50739.html

      Hopefully, I’ve done my best here to counter the negativity caused by that confrontation you had 😉

    5. Shumin

      Also found these videos about them (in Taiwanese Mandarin):

      Yin-Huan Pan (Taiwanese/Nigerian), also featuring his Blasian sister who also competes in the Taiwanese national athletics team.

      Jimmy (Taiwanese/South African) being interviewed here on a game show

      1. Ling Mei

        Krystal, i know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry you went through that.
        my parentage is black foot indian-chinese on my father’s side and west
        indian- chinese on my mom’s. I am atracted to asian men as well but where i live I dont fit in.

        every friend i have had since 1st grade has said
        ” you’re not chinese, you just look black” after asking about my parentage. I live in florida where the people are generally kind.
        I thought I had seen it all and had been called every digrating, ingnorant, and racist name ever uttered- until last week

        I was out with my caucasian friends at the beach and they had 2 of there friends who were chinese and taiwanese come-1guy,1girl ( which is great, the more the merrier. right?) when they met us there and they where walking towards us, and when saw us they slowed and started talking to each other, they stoped like 15 yards away and then the boy was the one who walked over, stood straight in front of me and said (not looking at me but pointing) “we are NOT going to sit near THAT!” i felt like crawling into a corner and disapearing. he told my friends to ask me to leave.

        it does not end there. my friends made me stay+ they were my ride home.

        the entire rest of the day was filled with stupid questions and statements:
        “is your entire body that color or does it cut off at your shirt?”(-what?) “is
        your mom legal or did she sneak in from africa?” (she is not african- i told them my parentage.) “ha! no your not chinese”..”do you bathe propperly.. because if you do you should look clean” ( whats not clean?)
        -the taiwanese boy whisperd this a little too loud:” .. disgusting, i would never touch a {dark} person, they look like there are coverd in filth!) -(personally i dont think i am dark)

        I am not an argry person but i just snaped. I got up and just walked away. caught a bus home and from that day on I always feel like people are staring at me when i am with my dad( who looks chinese to most americans).

        I guess i m now a bit paranoied
        because i never ever want to feel like that again

        ***sorry, that probably sounded like a sob story,
        just had to tell someone***

        1. Ling.. so sorry to hear about your situation… but some advice I could give you is this… trust that not every Asian person is as stupid as those two…. so dont blame the whole race for that…. second… love yourself… you are how God wanted you to be…. and it sound like you are very beautiful with all your multiculturalism in your history. Lastly, the next time, heaven forbid that someone acts like that in front of them… reverse it and embarrass the hell out of them… by asking them some of the same retarded questions… use as many stereotypes as you can….. Never let them see your weakness….just put your foot in their arse….. that is what I do….and I have a whole country against me.

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