My Valentine’s Day Surprise

Some of you may know that my husband isn’t the romantic kind of guy, not many Chinese men are.  He is more of a realistic guy.  I am the dreamy, love story kind of girl.. and he is the we need to pay the bills and plan for retirement kind of guy.  You get the point.   Anywho… I told my husband that the 3 most important days of the year for me that he must never forget are …. My birthday, our anniversary, and Valentines day.    Every other holiday… even Christmas he doesn’t have to worry too much about.. since we are buddhist.

As with every year, I reminded him a week in advance that Valentine’s day was coming.  I even had all my friends remind him constantly throughout the week via text messages.   Michael is good at remembering the dates… his problem is that he doesn’t do anything when the date arrives.

So… V-Day was yesterday… and He woke up like normal… and when to work kissing me good-bye like normal.    I go to work… all day.. Nothing… my co-workers and students are getting flowers, candy, stuffed bears….. I still received nothing.    One student felt sorry for me and said… “Don’t worry he will have a surprise for you when you get home” … I wasn’t feeling very confident since I arrive home at 8:30 pm.

When I got home… I eagerly looked around the apartment… Michael greeted me with a kiss (as usual) and I saw no gifts… nothing.   I was upset…..and I said.. you didn’t get me one thing?  not even a piece of chocolate?   He said… frustrated… I was busy at work, I have a lot of stress… what do you want?  …. I said.. “it doesn’t work that way… you don’t ask me what I want… you just get me something, anything….”

He said sorry…. but my parents called and I have to go to the village tonight to help take care of my grandmother, I will see you tomorrow.    WHAT? It’s Valentines Day…. I was livid.   I just went in the bedroom shut the door and watched Korean Dramas online.the whole night.. at least they were romantic.

The next morning… I awoke to the cell phone ringing…. I look and it was Michael… I was still pissed so I didn’t answer.  He called and messaged me 10 times more but I still didn’t answer.

I finally got up out of bed and went to the kitchen to get something to drink… and in front of the front door in the middle of the floor where these……

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yep… I was surprised.   I called him and told him thank you for the flowers.  He said in his mind, I should know how much he loves me and that he shouldnt have to prove it with gifts or flowers.”  I said… I know .. but once in a while a woman wants to see it.. and see you put some effort into showing her that she means a lot to you.    He said… I understand.. this relationship stuff is hard.… I laughed and said.. yep it is.. but you’re getting there.


until next time…


9 thoughts on “My Valentine’s Day Surprise

  1. Jack

    Good news Jo! Latest Huffington Post says recently two researches shows interracial marriages are at all time high! 1 in 12 American couples are interracial couples!

    “Another interesting fact : black men were more than twice as likely as black women to marry someone outside their race – 24 percent to 9 percent. The reverse held true for Asian men – 17 percent intermarried, compared to 36 percent among Asian women.”

    I guess that explains why there aren’t many asian man – black woman couples – both do not like to marry outside their race!

    1. @Jack.. thanks for the update.. but actually .. Black woman do like to date outside their race.. it is just that most men of other races do not find them as attractive as say.. Asian, Hispanic, or Caucasan women. So they have fewer choices… and they get alot of backlash when they do try to date outside their race.. from black men… so it is much harder for us. As for asian men… they have a lot of pressure from society, and family to marry within their own race… to keep the Asian race pure.. so it is difficult for them also. However.. everyday.. i speak to more and more .. Asian men that want to date and marry outside their race… unfortunately.. it is mostly… Blue eyed, white skin, blonde hair… women.. but .. things are changing..

      1. Jack

        Yeh, totally, I can’t wait for the age of multi-racial society! 😀 I only wish people would be more accepting!

        From my perspective, Asian particularly Chinese men get a lot of bad rap since last century – from the classic Fu Manchu to the other stereotypes of being “weak” and feminine. And the Hollywood even til today still popularising such stereotypes. And the media today (particularly in America) seems to hell bent on demonizing China and Chinese. This has largely made the environment to be hostile to Chinese in general, and when you are in a hostile environment, you tend to stick with your own group and are adverse to accept other people. I remember when I was in high school, I was being bullied on daily basis while none of my classmates would want anything to do with me (There were only handful of asians in an all-white high school in a small farming town). It makes you afraid and shut off. I remember I read a blog just recently about a latina girl asking why there are no Latina-asian couple (“is it because they find us unattractive?!”), and that reminds of my time in high school. There were girls (one of them black) I wanted to ask out but in a hostile environment, I became shut off, and VERY afraid of rejection. I was completely convinced I would be rejected, that I didn’t even try (now, in retrospect I think the girl likes me too). And this is what happen – because its “safer” to date your own race.

  2. John Lee

    Jo, some Chinese are like that, some don’t know what to get but in China, the people work early in the morning til late, they come home, eat sleep then start over again, my grandmother tell me this, the true love is no matter how long you with the person, they might not show affection but deep inside they care, they worked hard to support the family, sometime, is hard to explain, in every culture is different. Your husband want you to be happy so he buy the flowers, most of the time when you too hard the only things you could think of is eat and sleep

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