Our Love Story…

Michael and I getting our party on

I have had several requests lately wanting to hear the story on how Michael and I met.  Although, I have written it before it has been kind of lost in the archives.  So, I decided to write about it again.  Anyway, it is nice to remember how we met and why we are together.

My story begins about a year after I had been in China.  I had been making the rounds at the local bars and noticing that a large amount of young guys were showing interest in me.  I was so excited about it.. that I … sorry to say… acted a bit whor-ish…. yeah.. there were so many guys that it looked like a buffet laid out and I didn’t know what to taste first.   I had settled on a guy.. I thought.   His name was Steven… attractive man, who just made me get all tingle-ly when he talked to me.  He had words so smooth that they melted in his mouth and I was so blinded by his handsomeness that I didn’t really realize what an ass he was until few weeks later.

Steven - put on Blast

So, one night I was at the bar that Steven worked at as a manager, and was sitting waiting for him to come out and meet me.  Of course, he was late like always and I had been waiting for 2 hours.  I was about to give up and tell him to kiss my arse, when a guy grabbed my arm.

This guy wasn’t as fashionable, wasn’t wearing Gucci, or Armani like Steven did but he was sweet and had a nice smile and he spoke English.  When you are in China and someone speaks English you take the time to talk to him.  So, I sat down and took the offer of the beer.  He turned out to be a very funny and interesting guy.  We were getting along great.  Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend.   I said no without hesitation.  Well, it wasn’t like Steven was rushing to be by my side.   We exchanged phone numbers and promised to call each other and I went home.

Later that night, around 1 am, Steven finally decided to call me and say go ahead and go home he wasn’t going to be able to make it, he was busy.   I was already pissed at that guy I told him… don’t bother calling me again.   I was so upset by that time i could not sleep, I wanted someone to talk to that would cheer me up.  So I called the guy I met at the bar (Michael).   He picked up on the first ring.  I asked if he remembered me and that I was the American girl he met at the bar.  He said of course and we started talking… until 4 am.  I told him I needed to get to sleep because I had to work in the morning.  He asked me if he could call me tomorrow and I said sure.   After that night, he called me morning, noon and night… taking me out on the weekends and some week days.   I was feeling very good about the relationship we has started.  We has been seeing each other for at least three weeks almost everyday.

Then…. One day.. we were out walking by the river and my phone rang.  Yes, it was Steven.. I recognized the number.  I hadn’t heard from him in weeks and didn’t want to hear from him then.   So, I tried to ignore the phone call.   However, Michael said.. don’t you think you better get that, it might be important?  .... Well.. he kept calling so I stepped away from him a little to answer the call.   I quickly said.. what do you want?  instead of Hello.   Steven was his charming self… telling me how he missed me and wanted to see me and how much he loved me…the sugary words just pouring out of his mouth.  I told him.. it was over and I didn’t want to see him any more.  He said… it is not right to break up over the phone.. we should meet face to face.   I really didn’t want to do that.. since when I was face to face with him I always ended up agreeing to whatever he said.   I just hung up the phone and went back to Michael, who was sitting on a bench by the river.

I went to sit beside Michael and he asked me “Was that your boyfriend?”   I guess I was louder than I thought on the phone… I said… Yes and No…. (no need lying about it)... I told him I was sorry that I didn’t tell him but that the guy was an arse.   He said that was okay… because he had a girlfriend.     I was floored.    I figured he didn’t have one since he spent so much time with me… calling and hanging out.   I really couldn’t say anything because… I hadn’t told him about my boyfriend.    We sat for a while talking about .. the things that irritated us about our partners.   I told him about Steven wanting to meet me to face to face… he said… that it was the right thing to do… and that I should…it wasn’t right to break up on the phone... he said .. I could call him afterward.

I didn’t want to but I called Steven back and agreed to meet him at a coffee shop the next evening.   I went a little early but he was late as usual.   He was dressed to the nines.. and I was looking at him like he was the best looking man in the place.   Well … he actually was.   I thought what a waste that he is a royal arse.   Undependable, two-timing, using, gambling asshole… yeah.. I am still a little bitter.   Anyway… he had a bouquet of flowers and was telling me how much he missed me and was sorry and that he would change.   I just kept looking at his sunglass covered eyes.  (which he wore everyday… day and night) and thought to myself this guy is soo full of shit.    But I still couldn’t tell him to his face it was over…. the smile almost did me in…. However, .. I just grabbed my bag and said it is over.. and walked out the restaurant leaving him the bill, flowers and a shocked look on his face.

I quickly went home and called Michael… he asked me if he could come over.. I said… of course.   He came over and we had our first physical night together…. he asked me if I broke up with Steven… I said YES… he said… GOOD.   The next morning he left to go to work.  I was excited and thrilled with my new relationship.    However…the next day .. he didn’t call me… actually he didn’t call me for a week.  I was worried.   He usually called me everyday.. like clockwork.. three times a day.  It was not like him not to even send a text message.  He wasn’t even answering my calls.  I thought to myself… this can’t be happening.

After a week… I finally got a call.   I said.. where have you been?  What happened?  Why haven’t you called?   He just said… can I come to your apartment and talk to you?  I said .. Yes.   When he got to my place… he looked tired and like he lost weight.    I thought .. maybe he was sick.    He looked sad.. and said to me .. I have good news and bad news…. I said… oh boy.    What is the good news..?  He said… I broke up with my girlfriend.   ( I smiled) I said what is the bad news… he said… I have to move back to the village to live with my parents.  I said … why?   He said.. because I was living with my girlfriend and when I broke up with her she kicked me out of the apartment.   Well.. that was a little surprising.. I did not know that they had been living together.. it has been pretty serious.

I said.. how far is your parents home?  He said about 30 minutes away…. I said.. oh.. hell no that won’t work…. you can move in here with me.  He said .. what?  I said.. if you live that far away… I can’t see you … and you can’t get to work… No.. you will stay here.   Are you sure?  I said.. yeah.. go get your shit bring it here tonight.  He smiled and said… Your Amazing… I said.. yeah… I know….hehehe… and we have been together ever since.   Getting married six months after that night.

I don’t know about it being the perfect love story but it is our story.   I look back on it and smile.. thinking… I made the right choice.  FYI… Not that long ago I saw Steven again… he still looked the same…well dressed…. well groomed… and looking fine.. but..When he spoke to me and asked me how I had been doing….. I did not get those tingles.. when he spoke to me… I just thought .. I made the right choice… indeed.


until next time….

32 thoughts on “Our Love Story…

  1. Pingback: 2013 Blogs by Western Women Who Love Chinese Men | Speaking of China

  2. Adri

    This isn’t cute. Your commenters are sucking up like no tomorrow. This post glorified you broke up a serious relationship but you deluded yourself to think this is a “nice” love story? Wow. Your husband basically two time between you and the ex GF. I’ve read some of your blog posts (I can’t stand that much crappy writing so I will stop here) and this is my least favorite blog out of all the interracial Asian blogs. You come off as disrepectful, rude, whiny, and selfish. There is an air of arrogance and “I-deserve-more more more” around your writing. Respect your in-laws. I’m shocked they actually accept an obese foreign women like you to touch their only son. If you were in the US, you fare much worse.

    1. Mayte


      I think maybe you didn’t read carefully enough. Or maybe you’re the ex gf?

      She didn’t go into this thinking she was going to break anything up. While it’s not in a neat little package, it is a love story that ended well for these two. Life is complicated. We all admit that. This blog is honest and personal. If you have so many issues with it, then why read it at all? Stick to the ones you enjoy. I don’t think Jo comes off as arrogant at all. Does she have an opinion? Yes! Does she voice it? Yes! It IS her blog. I find it more disrespectful to come in and go on a rant without looking at the whole picture first. And as for your comment about the parents-in-law, they accept her and respect her, and probably better so than they might have a woman who threw their son out into the street (not to mention one that judges based on someone’s physical traits). Who are you to judge? Better to have someone with a little meat on her bones and a great sense of humor, than someone who lacks character and manners.

  3. Adeola

    I am currently married to a Chinese mandarin and I am Nigerian american. I am considering moving to China and teaching and I would love to speak to you about your experience. We currently have a daughter and I have been to Beijing and I liked it. I would love to hear from you, thanks!

  4. wow i am inlove.. hahahaha yes it’s true sometimes the thing that we will never find the right person is we wont let go of the wrong one, but no one to blame we are getting blinded when inlove hahaha.. and am guilty of it..

  5. blackandyellowambw

    Reblogged this on blackandyellowambw and commented:
    She is amazing and I love speaking with her. She gives the most mazing advice and she is such a beautiful soul. Enjoy her love story with her asian beau!

  6. Pingback: 2012 Blogs By Western Women Who Love Chinese Men | Speaking of China

  7. Jack

    Great story! Love it!!
    And I think you and Michael have fūqī xiàng (夫妻相)! (http://www.speakingofchina.com/china-articles/the-fuqi-xiang-fallacy/)

    BTW, about one of your more dated post about your grandmother-in-law – I say don’t get discouraged. It is normal in Chinese society (especially older generation) to not show affection towards their ADULT children (and their spouse). They simply don’t know how… its a cultural thing. I am speaking from experience.

    I think a lot of cultural “things” in Chinese/East Asian culture can be explained with just one word – “Control”. I think in east asian cultures – it is viewed as childish to express emotion freely because it shows lack of emotional control. And when you are older you are expected to act like an “authoritative” figure (and to keep things under control!) 😀 Its a reason why my parents never said they love me, or hug me (I know most westerner would be shocked to hear this), but I KNOW they love me, they just show it in other way. And this has affected me because it does make me feel weird hugging other people growing up in western society when it is a social etiquette to do so…….and I always ended up hugging people in an awkward way…. 😀

    Back to your grandmother-in-law, I say don’t get discouraged. I am sure she is interested in you but just don’t know how to express it. Give her time, but don’t ever push it because like I say, its all about control – if you show too much eagerness to engage conversation with her proactively, you are actually ‘disrespecting” her (making her unable to control the situation). So its a tricky tricky business. But do show respect whenever you can – Chinese show their love and respect through action, even simple actions such as – proactively pouring her hot tea if its cold or her cup is empty, fill her bowl with rice, basically assist her whenever you can. Speak less (or nothing at all!) and do more is a Chinese motto. And don’t ask question! (only authority or authoritative figures get to ask question!)
    I hope those tips helps!

    1. @Jack… thanks so much for the advice .. with my grandmother -in-law… however.. i am not sure how much longer she will be with us. She is very ill. On the dont ask questions thing… yeah.. well… I already blew that one. I question everything…hehehe… I think they excuse it because I am a foreigner.. but i know it aggravates the crap out of my boss that I question things that sound stupid.. or useless.

  8. LadyOrchid

    I’ve lurked for a while now. Love your story and your blog articles. You don’t sugar coat anything and it’s refreshing to read.

  9. CLP

    Jo, I can’t tell you how much I enjoy and appreciate your honesty. Your love story is so real and unconventional. I like that. I wish nothing but happiness for you and Michael.

    Steven is giving me all types of hit it and quit it vibes in that picture.

  10. LOL as for Steven, never trust a man that wears sunglasses all the time.

    Anyway, pretty interesting story. A clear case of going after what you wanted, not just on your side but Michael’s as well. 🙂

  11. niwa

    Thanks for sharing 🙂 I just have one query…aren’t you worried that he’ll treat you the same way he did his girlfriend? (I don’t mean to be offensive. Its just me being inquisitive.)

    1. @NIWA…. good questions… I guess most of you would be thinking that… However, my husband and I communicate a lot… and before we got married we talked about his girlfriend and My boyfriend.. and what issues we had with them. She wasnt taking care of home… and she had someone else on the side… I am not worried about Michael straying.. because.. 1) I take care of home 2) I told him before we married .. if he every wanted to be with someone else.. tell me and I will let him go… we would end it.. because I dont need that drama. I can do bad by myself. 3) Everyone around here knows who we are.. and talk… they are afraid .. the crazy Black American would do something to them… hhehehehe

  12. Mayte

    I love your story! Things don’t always follow the safety rules out here in China but you always get quite the experience. Michael sounds like a great guy and I’m glad that you took a chance on him. Steven is cute, but sometimes shiny is cubic zirconia. I’m glad you chose the diamond.

    1. @Ann…When children in China learn English the teacher gives them an English name alone with their Chinese name.. because it is difficult for some people to pronounce their real name. My husband’s real name.. is Gan Xiaoping… most people cant pronounce it correctly .. so they choose a name that is easy for foreigners. That is why they have english names.

  13. julie

    My relationship went fast like this too. Calls day and night, moved in together and married around 6mos…. =P
    When you know you just know. Thanks for sharing.

    1. @Julie… I have never been one to waste time on be soo cautious… I usually just jump into things… that is how I ended up in China… sometimes… i get burned but most of the time.. I have made the right decision.

  14. Is that picture really Steven? He’s fine! I cannot believe this dude wore shades all of the damn time! lmao. That’s a major red-flag. I’ve been blinded by the pretty-sexy when it comes to a guy as well.

    This was such a wonderful story. Thank you for taking the time to share this with all of us. I always enjoy reading personal stories on blogs. ❤

    1. @Nicoleh73… Yeah.. that is really Steven… I still have photos of him… from the past. He is fine..that is why it was hard to break up with him face to face.. heheheh… but.. I did .. and I am happy i did..

  15. 30 minutes? Is that all? I guess you are not the one for any type of distance relationships hehe. So brave to ask him to move in, you must have known it would be more serious… though after all those chats, no wonder you had already fallen for each other.

    1. That is 30 mintues by car… by bus.. an hour… and we didnt have a car at that time. You cant go on dates or anything.. Long distance relationships almost never work. Anyway.. it was my apartment.. if it didnt work I could always kick him out. No worries…

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