Ask Jo: Was It Something I said?

I would like your opinion on something. Two weeks ago i met up with a chinese guy that I have been chatting with and skyping with. Funny thing is…he knew that I was very tall but he didn’t seem to care. When we finally met up he was all over me. He got a hotel here in NY so we can spend the weekend together. we both had a wonderful time. When he return to Boston he stopped contacting me.I remember our last text to each other after he returned to Boston was about sex. He had issues in the bedroom. If u know what I mean lol. could that have been it? Are chinese men that sensitive? I don’t know. What do you think?   –what did I do? 

Are Chinese men really that sensitive?  Yes, Yes… they are.   Everyday I am here in China I see the Chinese men around me clearer and clearer.   Called it face or call it pride or call it whatever you want.. they must have it… need it … thrive on it… can’t bear to live without it.

The fact that you had been talking to this guy and you told him you were tall and it didn’t faze him; only tells me that he didn’t really realize how tall you were going to be…I know that how a couple looks on the outside is very important.  A traditional Asian will not want a woman larger, or taller than him it will make him look less of a man, in society’s eyes.

On top of the added pressure to perform at his best in the bedroom to impress you and not being able to do that either… I think any man would be sensitive about something like that, but even more so for an Asian man.  They are already facing the stereotypes that they are not well-endowed  and are not perceived as the strongest partner sexually, so something like this could very well hurt his feelings and confidence to be able to contact you further.

However, you also have to take into account that he might have only wanted to play with you.  You know... hit it and quit it…. it happens a lot. Wanting to know what it would be like to have sex with a non-Asian woman.  It might be the fact that he wasn’t wanting anything serious.  That you were just a weekend fling.  Unfortunately, this is common practice when you are talking to people online.

Either way, I would not worry about it.  If he wants to see you again… he will make the effort.  If not, turn the page and move on. I would also suggest you be a little more careful about the people you meet online.  What do you guys think?




7 thoughts on “Ask Jo: Was It Something I said?

  1. Diana

    Okay, I just turned 20 yesterday and do not have much dating experience. But from the little experience I have, I have learned that we seriously need to respect ourselves before anyone else will respect us. I mean this in the nicest way possible. You may have talked to him for a while online but it might have been better for you to get to know him in person before you slept with him. He probably thought he scored and didn’t need to continue “courting” you since he got what he wanted. And I am just assuming that that was all he wanted. Maybe it was something else that made him stop contacting you. Wish you all the luck!

  2. Child…women like you are putting sex workers out of biz. One does NOT get down with a man whom you’ve chatted with for 2 weeks online!

    You need this advice str8, no chaser, tough love. I don’t think this has a dang thing to do with his race, you opened your legs too quick you lost your mystery. You got played. Lesson learned. Keep you legs closed to men till you get to know them better.


    I agree with Jo, take some time to get to know the person, before you give
    of yourself, because when they leave, they take a piece of you with them in other words pump your breaks. If you get to know them and they decide not to contact you, so what you haven’t lost anything, but if you give it up really quick, and they don’t contact, that not a good feeling.

    So protect your feelings and make him earn it.

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