Support Letters

Hey everyone…. due to this daunting process my husband an I are about to go thru I am reaching out to all my friends, readers, family, fake family, classmates, former co-workers, and just all around supporters.   My husband and I are going to try to do this thing by ourselves.  He seems to think.. and I quote “Aren’t you smarter than most of those lawyers? Can’t we just do it and save some money?”   He has so much faith in me it scares me sometimes.  He really believes I can move mountains.

So, since our case is so different there are a lot of red flags that some USCIS officers will find a reason to stop our process… one big one is age difference. ( Not a big deal to us.. but big deal to them). Evidently, an old woman of 43 could never be married to a young man of 29.. just impossible.   Another our nationalities, not normal for Black American to marry a Chinese man. So this gives our marriage a this can’t be real stamp (also new ground is always a color thing).   I am reaching out to you guys because I need letters… I want to blow them up with letters proving that are marriage is real, that an old woman and a young guy can love each other, and that love has not color lines.  I want to prove that just because our marriage isn’t the stereotypical marriage you see coming out of China doesn’t mean it isn’t real.

All letters need to state how long you have known us or for some of you .. of us, that our marriage is real, that we are good, honest people who don’t want to cheat the government or do something shady.  (Basically, that we are not like the China government… oops … Did I just say that out loud?)  They can have information or experiences any of you have had with me ; just anything that will make them understand who we are.

All letters should be typed, signed and dated.  They can be scanned and sent to be via email to or if you are in China or feel you want to donate me a postage fee (which is so sweet) … you can snail mail it to …

Jo Bai
Telf Academy
41 Da Huangqiao lu
Yuyao City, Zhejiang Province
PR China, 315400

Jo Bai
公关中国, 315400

Please note that my legal name is still Jo Bai, since I haven’t changed my passport which is difficult to do when your living abroad (another red flag) and my husband Michael’s  Chinese name is  Mr. Gan Xiaoping……   I really appreciate all of your support and kind words and trust me I can tell this process is bound  to be the subject of many interesting blogs.   Watch out US Embassy… Michael and I are coming for you…..Jesus take the wheel…..!

until next time….


11 thoughts on “Support Letters

  1. vmh027

    I would second using Candle for Love as a resource. I really think asking them how to approach the age issue might give you some good ideas. Another good resource is including example forms already filled out. A lawyer with a really good reputation when dealing with Guangzhou is Marc Ellis (

    I also agree with the poster above that time is your best friend in proving a bona fide relationship. Two years of marriage is the crossover from the 2 year to 10 year green card but given your aqe difference and depending on how soon you really need to be back in the US, even longer might help.

    I don’t think you not having changed your name is a big deal since it is uncommon in China for the wife to take the husband’s name. I also don’t think you being African American is that huge of an issue. Overcoming the age issue is a much bigger barrier.

    The general recommendation is to front load the I-130 petition with as much information as possible in documenting your relationship. Letters from friends help but pictures over the length of your relationship are better. Is there an expat magazine where you live? Can you get them to write an article about you? Or write it yourself and submit it. They usually are looking for articles. Documentation you bring to the interview is normally not looked at, The best way to get it in front of the Visa Office when your husband has his interview is to submit it with the I-130. Often when filing DCF at the consulate (and if you are in the Shanghai Consular section, you likely need to file the I-130 at the USCIS office at the embassy in Beijing) they don’t let you add a lot of extra information. You might be better off filing at the Chicago Lock box even thought the process will take longer but they will take any and all documentation.

    1. Thank you so much for this information i will look into the other site you gave me. I will also consider all your suggestions. We are in no big hurry to move back so staying another year or so is not a big deal if it will help our situation.

  2. Jo, you’ve got my support on this. And Rebecca’s right, being married for 2 years can help more than you think.

    I can totally understand how you feel because I was so scared when I went through the process — probably one of the most nerve-wracking experiences I have ever known. Even I originally wanted to reach out to lawyers, but like you, we didn’t have the money for it. But in the end, we were able to get through it and get the visa ( was a big support in that).

    BTW, if you ever have questions about the process or what we did, you’re more than welcome to e-mail me anytime. I’m always glad to support a yangxifu sister. 😉

    1. I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words…. funny enough, it seems the attorney read my blog… and has offered to lower the fees considerably…. and work out a nice payment plan… Interesting how things happen.

  3. Wow this scares me as I will have to do this process sometime in the future…I haven’t changed my name for the same reasons, but my husband and I are about the same age and Japan and America have a better relationship than Japan and China so it will probably be easier for me I suppose.
    I hope everything works out. Maybe you can show them articles from the different places that you’ve contributed articles to, especially if they mention your relationship with your husband? Since you’ve had this blog for about 2 years, can use use it as proof too? Also, it seems like Immigration really likes pictures with family…When my husband’s family came into the immigration office, they pretty much approved us on the spot, even though beforehand they had a lot of suspicions. So maybe you can visit his parents again or something and snap some photos. Do you have any pictures of him with your family from a prior visit with the family or something?

    Sorry this comment is so long, I just really hope it works out for you two~!

    1. @Tokeri… I am hoping it will be easier since i have been interviewed in so many articles and so many people know who we are.. I will also mention my blog of course… and We live close to his family so it is easy to take photos with them… however, Michael has never met my family… only online. So no photos of him with them….. I think i will be able to pull the evidence together… just a big hassle.

  4. Rebecca

    Also, you have more than one option on the visa to use(if you didn’t already know)….you’re married, so he can come on either a K3 spouse visa then adjust status in the US, or go ahead and adjust by default and get the GC stamp in his passport since he is entitled to it via marriage (card is given in the US). It’s really up to you guys which you think is best as they end up with the same thing.

    Left out my email on the last post,

  5. Rebecca

    I’ll write one for you…..pretty much I’ll say whatever you want in it lol. Just email me.

    The important thing with you guys is the actual length of marriage. If it has been over 2yr, Michael will skip conditional status and get a 10yr GC. That alone is enough to make it a good faith marriage in the eyes of most immigration officers, regardless of age/race, since pretty frankly no scammer sticks with someone that long, especially while in their home country sharing joint assets. If this is how they see it, they’ll not even ask to see any letters, but it’s good to have ready.

    1. Rebecca… I hope your right… but it just seems things are never that easy for us… so we always .. expect the worse and hope for the best…. so i am going to be prepared out the arse. girlfriend…hehehe…. I got your email and I will drop you a line.

  6. John Lee

    if you are doing the custom yourself I suggest that you do some research on how t prepare USA custom form, if I ever meet with this partner who I use to worked I will ask him for advice, he might not give it to me because he not in that field, your husband is right, you can do it yourself if there no problems with your forms that you are filling out, make sure you have documents to back up what you fill on your form, that important like marriage license, birth place that he was born in, etc. No matter who you marry, I hope race is no an issues because other people marry to other race too, I know some, good luck

    1. thanks for your advice John… but actually i have done it before.. when I was married before but we were both in the states… and he was older than me… different situation. I am kind of aware of the process…

What do you think about this?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s