When am I going back to America? Damn it!

English: Full view of Kowloon and Hong Kong
English: Full view of Kowloon and Hong Kong (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I few of you have probably been wondering about my plans for the future…. that is also something my husband and I have been thinking about…. actually.

But to answer a few questions that are on everyone’s mind….

When am I moving back to America?  I think this is the number one questions everyone has been thinking about.  I know I have mentioned it several times… but every time my husband and I try to start the process something happens to keep us here.   One instance with his parents… they threw a fit and a half when we mentioned moving back to the states.  See in China, the children are legally supposed to take care of their parents when they are elderly; my husband is an only child and a son.   I don’t know if you guys really realize the responsibility and pressure this holds over the one boy child.  It is a tremendous pressure… and we have been jumping thru all kinds of hoops to keep these people happy.   It is not easy.  If it was up to me… those crazy arses would be on their own… but .. my husband tells me… although he also hates them at times.. he has to take care of them.  One thing I love and hate about him his devotion to family.  We we mentioned moving to the states… they refuse to give us necessary information we needed to complete the application process and even cried and rain away…. childish.    I know… you would think they would want more for their son.. but .. nope.. they want him where they can see him any time they want and call him at all hours of the day and night to come to them.   pitiful.

Another reason we haven’t just ignored them and moved anyway is because of the job situation.  My husband getting this decent position in Hong Kong as a Sales manager for international trade… and me getting the position as a professor at a College…. those opportunities don’t come around often… and I really don’t want to give it up to come back to America to do….. ummm…. welll….. nothing.   I have lived in China for five years… and not matter how easy you think it would be for me to just merge back into the job market it isn’t.

I do not have a master’s degree nor a teaching degree… I have a business degree… in America no one would have ever offered me a position so prestigious based on my writing skills and my experiences, even if I am qualified to do it.  Plus the job includes a housing allowance, company phone, and other perks.   I also have the opportunity to help other students on the side for extra money if I want… plus my wedding singing side job pays good.

A lot of people have respect for me here … with the interviews, the tv appearances and the connections i have made…. I am thinking things are not going to be better for me … or my husband if we move back right now.

I honestly think about what will my husband do.  He is in trade… we don’t do a lot of that in the states…. he speaks English but…. his writing is not at the level of an American… he would have to start over … as would I … and people in the states are not kind or fair…. all the time.. and we know it.    So… although i love my kids and miss them….. i miss my family and my friends…… they understand my situation and the reason for my choices… and for my readers… i also wanted you guys to understand the hesitations.

Besides…. i have too much fun … exploring places and things I am not supposed to know about…hehehe…. it makes my blog way too interesting.

Oh.. one last thing… yes .. my husband and I will have a long distance relationship for a little bit but.. it will make our lives better financially and marriage stronger in the end.  We speak to each other twice a day and chat throughout the day on WeChat and send photos to each other when we see stupid stuff or need advice.   We love each other and we will make it work.   I will keep you updated on everything.

So…. to answer the question when are we moving back to the states?  I don’t know…. I always refer back to my grandmother and she said….. “Honey, if it ain’t broke….. don’t fix it, child”

until next time…..


15 thoughts on “When am I going back to America? Damn it!

  1. TeeVee

    I think you have an amazing life! Only the best people could leave their country of origin, and go live in a place that is completely different from their own culture. All the best to you and your husband on whatever decision you make. 🙂

  2. Karen

    I left the U.S. over a decade ago and never looked back (I live in Europe). At the end of the day, we all only have one life to live so you are doing what is best for you and yours! No explanations are required (smile).

  3. Chile’ please. If I could find a position as an ex-patriot similar to what you or your hubby have, I would not be racing to go anywhere. Don’t worry about, live in the day. Enjoy it.

  4. Your job right now with its benefits sounds terrific! Sure his in-laws are an annoyance, but if they don’t live with your family, don’t get into a knot over it.

    You’re right: It would be tough for both you and he to get decent jobs at the same time back in the U.S.

    So enjoy the learning opportunities now, etc. You can always return to the U.S. in a few years later…

  5. I’m with your Grandmother! I am sure his parents are ‘difficult’ at times however for the most part that seems to be the least of your problems. Bloom where you are planted!! and you are doing that so tremendously!!
    I love your blog by the way!!!

  6. I’m living in Holland and I can definitely relate. People at home thing that it’s so easy to drop everything and come home and that coming home is always the best decision. A return really has to be planned and you have to be ready, body and soul, before you make that decision. Success to both of you as you navigate this one.

  7. Claire

    You could do China-appropriate long distance relationship tips! 😀 WeChat will be so great while you are apart though – it is nice to be able to keep in touch between proper chats.

  8. LovingMyself

    GRRRR……. My comment got cut!

    Well, I for one am totally glad you’re staying in China. You have many oppurtunities there that you just won’t find in the States, and I’m positive you’ll attract tons more. And besides I love living vicariously through you, reading about your experiences and the life you’ve made yourself. Even when you weren’t updating much, I started to go through your archives to get my lifebehindthewall fix 😀

    You know, I’ve been a lurker for years now. Currently I live in Paris, and learning about you, your life in China, etc. has definitely helped in further opening my mind to a country that I had somewhat passive interest in. Now I know and believe an impending move there is sometime in my future. I just never really thought it was possible.

    SO — from a 22 year old young woman who is grateful to a woman who has decided to share snippets of her life behind the wall, all I can say is ~


  9. Jo, I understand and support you fully. I think Americans have this elitist about our fullyourselves. The ecoconomical situation in the stayes has not improved a whole lot. I am a certified teacher who after resigning from my job to teach in China has extreme difficulties landing an interim job.

  10. Jo, I think you’ve made a really smart decision. I also think the China is the place for my husband and me after he’s graduated — I don’t see the kinds of opportunities/job potential for him in the US, not like I see in China. I see the potential for more clients/business for me in China as well. So I’m with you.

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