Everyone knows that currently my husband and I live in different cities, approximately 2 hours apart; due to work.  I have gotten all kinds of negative feedback on the way my marriage currently stands.  First I want to say to those people who give me all the negativity…….Mind your own business!!! Stay out of my marriage it does not concern you.  Now, that I have that off my chest….I will continue.

Sometimes situations cause people to be separated for one reason or another.  Believe it or not people make it work all the time.  Just like my husband and I do.  so I choose this blog to give you some types on how to make a long distance relationship work.  I can not claim all the tips are from me but they are ll I use and agree with wholeheartedly.

Husbands & Wifes
Husbands & Wifes (Photo credit: nerosunero)

 

1. Must have a true interest in each other

physical attraction isn’t enough, you have to truly be interested in each other no matter how long you have been together or where you met.  If you are truly interested in that person you will make an effort to keep them in your life.

2. Relationship Plan For The Future

Make sure and plan is set for the future.  Either eventually he will move or she will move or you will both move together to another city.  A clear plans helps you because you know it isn’t going to be this way forever.   Kind of like a light at the end of the tunnel.  Most relationships fail because of no solid plan  of action.

3. Meet Regularly

This is very important.  My husband comes to see me every weekend, unless an emergency happens.  Even if it is only once a month visit each other face to face.  Then spend som quality time together; besides just in the bedroom.  Go out and have a special dinner or dancing or whatever you guys like to do.  Plan the meetings so you can relax and enjoy each other.

4.Use Modern Technologies

With the internet, smart phones, social media and regular phones there is no reason not to communicate with each other.  It is easier than ever before to stay in touch.  My husband talk on wechat or message each other more than 3 times a day.  It is like he is in the same city, getting on my nerves other than 2 hours away.  Even when he travels to Hong Kong for 3 months, communication still flows.

5.Give Yourselves A Free Day

Being alone can be frustrating and you can end up taking it out on your partner and there is nothing worse than fighting thru email or social media.  Having a day without communication makes you miss them a little.  It will make the meeting more exciting and intense.  You have a little break and can test the strength of your relationship.

6. Be honest

When things get to me or I get lonely I am honest about it with my husband.  I tell him how I feel and when I need him to give more attention or whatever it may be.  they cannot see you all the time so they cant read your feelings through an email.  So be detailed and honest.  If you miss his loving let him know, so he can come back and take care of business.

Communication
Communication (Photo credit: P Shanks)

7.Beware Of Jealousy

Ohhhh this is a big one.  Jealousy is a very dangerous thing. Jealousy is a lack of trust and  often reveals insecurities and bad experiences that you have had  in other relationships.  The cure for this is trust.  If you cant trust your man or your man cant trust you….then you have a more serious problems then just a long distance relationship.   If this is the case you need some serious communication and to really look at your relationship.  Shakespeare said:

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on

8.Avoid Dangerous “Situations”

If you trust each other you can pretty much let them do what they want and you know they wont cross the line.  However, I would advise that you not put yourself in temptation’s way.  I put myself in dangerous situations all the time, for my art of course.  But I am secure in the fact I will not cross the line; the same as my husband.  we got it like that..but not everyone has the self-control we have so better to just avoid the danger.

9.Never Lose Faith

People are negative and will tell you all kinds of reason why your relationship wont work and give you all kinds of doubts and even try to get you to not trust what you know is true.  Let me tell you….it can work and it does work for me.  But you have to both believe….and trust.  Dont listen to the haters..usuallythey want to see you fail.

10.Stay Positive

Always assume your partner loves you and cares about you.  don’t try to read things between the lines or make some stupid assumptions when he didn’t call exactly at the right time or you didn’t get an email when you should have.  do not assume the worse.  Positive thinking is necessary.

Yes it isn’t easy and we all have our little lapses but you can make it work and be happy.  I make every moment my husband comes home special in some way.  That way he is excited to come back too.  No want wants to come back to some one nagging them.

I hope this helps some of you that are in or considering a long distance relationship. I think the best part is the “I Miss you sex” even better than make up sex.

 

until next time…

 

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