To My Cherished Readers….

Okay…. I choose this blog to talk to my readers.... I do love and appreciate all of you, I really do and I am open to all kinds of suggestions and comments.   However, I think I need to clear up somethings.




First…. I am a grown woman who has been through somethings you guys could not imagine….. I have been mentally abused, held at gun point as a hostage, abandon by my parents,  and a host of other things that I do not care to share …In my other life…… and I have come through it stronger, braver and smarter.  I have traveled to a foreign country and made myself a success….. and I did It all on my own…No one helped me even when I asked.   I finished university with two kids and worked on my own….I have been rich and I have been dirt poor……and it was all on my own….. and now I think at this time in my life, I am free to do what I want, when I want, with whoever I want.

Secondly, I am not looking for a man to take care of me or depend on, I can take care of myself… have done it all my life…and I am not going to stop now.  I control my destiny…. I control my life….. I don’t need a man…. I just want one sometimes.

I am not looking to get married again… I done that about 3 times… and it won’t be happening again soon.    I am smart enough to know how to protect myself mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually , so none of you need to worry about that.   I know what I want, and what I don’t want… and I don’t want to wait for an invisible spirit to provide me with the perfect man.

I just want to make it clear to everyone… that I  do not look for men in bars…. I do not actually look for men at all…. The look for me.  If  I want to go out with them because  they are attractive, interesting, talented, intelligent… or just to get laid…. I will.   Because, after all the stuff I have dealt with in my life….. I am finally free…..

I thank you all for your concern… but I am not searching for anything….. nor am I looking to settle down with anyone…. I am Dating, enjoying myself, enjoying trying and learning new things… and enjoying my time meeting people from all over the world.

That may not set well with a lot of you… and you may find my lifestyle not to your liking, and I am sure most of you would not live your life as I do… I understand that and I respect all of your opinions.  I really do…. but I am not looking for anyone’s approval on what I do in my life.

I have went out of my way and helped so many people in my life friends and strangers, I have provided support emotionally, physically and  financially. I have helped many of you, my readers.. with relationship advice, career advice and family advice.  I have shown compassion to my enemies and love to strangers.    I am right with MY GOD…. and that is all that matters to me.

So, I will continue to date a variety of men from a variety of countries,  I will continue to try new things and new experiences, I will continue to share my experiences of my time here in China, and I will continue to have safe sex with whom ever I want…..and I will continue to live my life the way I want.

Again … I thank you all for reading my blog…. I am very grateful… and I am sorry if my life offends some of you…. but…. If I were to quote one of my favorite bands,  Bon Jovi

” Its my life…Its now or never…. I’m not gonna live forever…..I just want to live my life…. Alive…”


until next time…..


32 thoughts on “To My Cherished Readers….

  1. Hope I have a new friend in China.

    First off, I’m proud of you. Never met you and may never meet, but I know being open-minded and living life by my own rules, we’d definitely hit it off.

    You’re living your life without fear, and a lot of people ARE jealous of that.
    I read about your stomach problems, and I’d like to know, not to change the subject; what children’s medicine in China did you take?.
    I am a black lady, over 40, American and looking to correspond by e-mail or snail mail with younger Chinese guy’s I’d like to “break the ice” so to speak then when and if we are able to meet, it won’t seem overly awkward-I’m sure it is not EASY for Chinese guy’s to feel relaxed with older ladies, so I’m wondering when and I do mean “WHEN” I move there, is approaching them considered rude or overly aggressive?.

    I appreciate cha, and any all safety, health info ditto.

    1. First thank you for your support. As for the medicine, I can’t remember the name I just know it had a cartoon family on the front of the blue box. Younger Chinese men and basically all men are shy so usually you need to approach them. So it’s not awkward at all. Dating younger men is easy it is the parents you need to worry about. They are they ones who cause the issues.

  2. Rebekah

    Jo, I think you’re an amazing woman, and a true inspiration for those of us who have lived through some of the sadder things in life. Whoever decided to rain on your parade is probably upset that your positive attitude and ability to cope with the negative is much stronger than theirs. Keep on doing you, and thank you for always being straightforward and real! 🙂

  3. pearls

    Sweetie…I’ve been around your blog for a very long time, now. We all have our own shoes to walk in, make our own pathways of life in and make our own decisions in the bodies we each live in. If we’re not true to ourselves, who can we be true to?

    Be you…be true…and enjoy your life girlfriend!

  4. WannaBeInSeoul

    Both sides have a legitimate point. It is true, no one has the right tell you how to live your life, or question it, because your choices are your own, and only you (and maybe those close to you), have to live with them. It’s really nobody’s business, but when you freely put it out there and invite comments to boot… On the other hand, you can be seen as sort of a hypocrite when you say you support marriage before having children, when you yourself don’t live by those convictions. Or saying you are right with your God, when you clearly aren’t (not judging just basing this off of your self described lifestyle). It’s like the alcoholic supporting sobriety, or telling folks not to drink and drive, when he does it all the time, collecting DUIs along the way and endangering others and himself.

    Yes, of course you can do whatever you want (we over 40 operate like that), but that does not mean you should, and that of course goes both ways. Not sure if I’d call those who question your credibility “haters.” I surely am not one. I think it’s cool that you were able to live such a colorful life in China (and survive) on your own terms. I myself am planning a move to Seoul this year; but am a bit more conservative (maybe a little boring), and my shenanigans stop short of wearing sleeveless dresses and baring my shoulders in public ( a no no over there).

    BTW, your description of Chinese men (in another post) reminds me of Korean men. They (K-men) think all foreign women are easy and for some reason think they can get laid within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. Some will take you out for a cheap date first though. One guy told me that black women are every Korean man’s “fantasy” if you can believe it. So, you already know what’s on his mind, and many other K-men. It’s interesting though, there are many foreign men living and working in Korea, but the only men that treat me like a whore from the first hello are the Korean locals (not all but enough to notice the blatant disrespect). The Indian, European and American men assess your character first (more often than not) before propositioning you. In Korea, good girls are Korean. Foreign girls are sluts.

    Anyway, good luck finding your Mr. Right Now. 🙂

    1. Gina

      That’s not black and white like that in Korea. Many korean men want to marry foreign women, they are more open to this than the previous generation, with globalization. I have lived there and most men have treated me with respect. It is also how you set the tone. One of my friends is engaged to a korean man. Just like we dont want to be stereotyped, we should be careful not to stereotype them.

  5. Mayte


    You have been missed!

    Keep on doing what’s good for you. The haters don’t get it. Too young? Too sheltered? You don’t need anyone’s permission to live your life. You’re not hurting anyone and you deserve to enjoy your life, like everyone else does in their own way. You should be proud of what you have been able to accomplish for yourself and it’s YOUR blog…why is it a problem being positive about yourself? I had a gander at one of those silly comments and could only think…”Well, hell! If you can’t be your own cheerleader, who the hell else is gonna do it better?”

    As for the guy and “life” comments, it’s your blog…and for me, it is a way we get to have a conversation with you. Girl talk, if you will, and girls talk amongst themselves about what they want to discuss. That often includes guys. As for “making it” …it takes work, nothing is handed to you…unless it has some strings attached….and then, we’re back to work again.

    Do you, girl. Always do you. But you know that already. Others will learn in their own time.

    Be well,


  6. amanda lisette ann panganiban

    yeah thats right, sieze the day seize the moment for its your life you know what makes you happy god bless you and keep on rockin btw add my wechat lizzyliz30

  7. samantha

    I used to read your blog, but you always seem so full of yourself. As a foreigner, I don’t think it’s that hard to “make yourself” in China. Big deal. Secondly, the way you objectify the Asian man is gross. If there was a man blogging about Asian women the way you do men, he’d be called out in an instant. Done with your blog.

      1. pearls

        @lifebehindthewall: Sweetie, wow…I sense some envy coming from said person. It takes a ‘bold’ confidence (if I may word it that way) to live ANYWHERE, especially in a foreign country dealing with different languages, dialects, and different cultures, not to mention the food, water, and environment. Obviously Samantha really doesn’t know men. Men have objectified women for centuries in so many ways. One objectification is called ‘pornography’ and even if men are called out for it (which they have been), ways have been made to justify and secure its existence.

  8. Sharon

    Having just separated and divorced my husband, I am living vicariously through your experiences. Life is way too short to miss any and all opportunities. Live with no regrets. You deserve it.

  9. Susan C

    Miss Jo someone overstepped their bounds and you are so right to put them in their place. Could it be that person is jealous of you living life on your terms and not conforming to society’s rules? Regardless I’m surprised at your reaction. Why even respond when that might make others engage inappropriately. What you should have done is respond to that individual privately and let them have it, and then block them from your blog. Life is too short to let a few narrow minded idiots raise your blood pressure.

    1. there were more then one… so I thought I best clear the air….. I am not upset or angry… everyone has their views…. and the freedom to express them… i just wanted to make sure everyone new mine….. thats all….

  10. I love you blog!! I love watching you ‘Do You!’ I wish more people would give themselves permission to live life according to their internal code and dreams and not the neighbor’s code from down the street, or the woman that lives next door’s code. So tiring that life must be. It’s okay for me to live my values. You don’t have to live my values. You just have to live yours. Take care!!

  11. Tatiana

    I love your blog and you just the way you are. Ignore the naysayers and live your life abundantly! It’s alright for people to be concerned, but not judge or force people to change either when they aren’t ready to or at all. I dont’t know you enough to make any conslussions about the type of lifestyle you are living. It’s none of our business really. It’s a privilege to peek through your life with the material you give us, which by the way, doesn’t completely define who you are as a person. Anyway, stay prosperous and I’ll keep reading. Thank you for sharing with us!

  12. Harry Williams

    Glad you are back on the blog scene, Jo. As usual, you are insightful. On point. Will post on Twitter. This post reminds me of the line from the Isley Brothers back in 1969: “It’s your thing/do what you wanna do/I can’t tell you/Who to sock it to.” Has your email changed? No reply to one I sent a few months ago.

  13. Dionus Jones

    I LOVE your blog! I find your adventures to be fun, exciting, heartwarming, & many other adjectives. You are truly living your life. I miss traveling & reading your blog brings back great memories & inspires new hopes & dreams. I always look forward to reading the new things you have to say. Thank you for sharing!

  14. Mira

    Dear Jo

    I’m an avid reader to your blog but obviously from the tone of your writing something in the past few weeks has happened to make you write the below; my guess is that some readers have commented and made assumptions and judgements regarding your posts.

    What you said below is absolutely true…’s your life, you only get one chance so live it the way you want to and bugger everyone else. You are a grown woman; you know yourself well enough to decide what is best for you. You’ve lived and experienced more than most people could have in a life time and that is a triumph to your will and determination to succeed and live a full, enriched and free life that’s based on your own terms an no one else’s. For this l applaud you because not many of us can say with confidence ‘I’m living my life the way I want to’.

    Take care just go for it …….

    (P.S l love Bon Jovi and we rock this song at KTV 🙂


    This is is why you are and will be that Sent from my iPad


  15. Monica

    Well written. I applaud you on actually “living” your life. Sometimes as women we let the fear of what our friends, family or co-workers think to determine our behavior. In a small way, this is normal, but our private lives are ours for the living. At the end of the day we all need to balance how we give and receive in this lifetime. When you give much, you are blessed much. People don’t know what you’ve had to go through to get to where you are which is why we’re told to covet not what others have.

      1. Dionus Jones

        You blog about your life in China. I have never been to China. So, reading your blog helps give me a perspective I can relate to. I had lived in Japan for three years. It wasn’t easy & yet, I touched so many people’s lives. You do the same. You’re beautiful, adventurous, & free!

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