The Crab Conflict


Sooo… we are back… and now I am still in shock over seeing those scary ass crabs… I told Jet… I do not want those things in the house.. or near me.. for any reason.  He tried to explain that when they get bigger they will be good to eat…. I just frowned and said.. no, no, no and no….. he said… he said… I like them .. they look mean… and the move fast…. I told him that was not helping.

Chinese_mitten_crab

He promised they would stay on the balcony and I will never have to see them. He would take care of them until they were big enough to eat.  I told him I was not eating those damn things.  So, weeks passed… and one night Jet went to

KTV for boys night.. and I came home.  I put my bags down and went to the bathroom.  When I came out I decided to fix myself something to eat.  So I walked into the kitchen… and all of a sudden something scurried across the floor with great speed.  I screamed… it looked like a really big spider.   I went to get a shoe so I could try to kill it.    I tiptoed back into the kitchen with the shoe in my hand above my head…. looking for that big ass spider.   It scurried back across the floor… it was not a spider… it was one of those damn crabs… it got out and it was in the house.   I ran like hell to find something to cover the thing… so it would stop running around the kitchen… I found a shoe box and threw it on top of the crab.. and ran into the bedroom and shut the door.   I was crying by now… and quickly got on the phone to call Jet….. …………………….Now, Jet does not speak English.. and I could not remember the word for crab in Chinese… so I was calling it … a thing….. I said .. that thing is loose... he was like what?  I said.. the thing, thing that runs fast…. he was like … what are you talking about?  By this time .. I was hysterical.. crying and yelling at him to come home…. because it was going to kill me.   He was like….  Jo, I am not with any girls.. it’s just me and the guys… you do not have to make up stories to get me to come home.  I had lost it by then.. and told him to bring his arse home… I needed him.

About 15 minutes later, he walked in and opened the bedroom door…yes I was still locked in the bedroom… he looked at me concerned and said .. Are you okay?  I told him to go in the kitchen and kill it.  He walked into the kitchen with a confused look on his face… and was looking around in the cabinets.. and on the floor… I told him to look under the box…. he slowly lifted the box and that stupid crab took off….It startled Jet… I know he was not expecting it… but then he started laughing….I reminded it him it was not funny and I could have died.  He said he would take it to the river and let it go… all of them… because I am so crazy…

So, he left and went to the river… to get rid of the crabs.  I felt much better.   However, three days later… I saw Jet.. acting strange…quietly looking around on the floor for something.   I was sitting at the computer but I asked him what he was doing.   He just looked up at me and started laughing….. He said…..It is back… the crab found its way back into the apartment.  I was like WTH? … I jumped up on the chair and shouted get it… it ran across the floor and Jet was chasing it … it did not help that he was laughing hysterically the whole time…and had to stop several times to wipe his tears from his eyes.    Finally, he caught it… and I just said… Kill the damn thing…. 

I did not even know how a crab can climb to the 4th floor… I told him.. never again will I eat crab or even look at them. He agreed it had not been the best idea and promised no more aquatic animals.

A week later….. yes… wait for it….. I came home… and Jet was yet again.. excited… I figured he found something else… snakes, pigs, chickens…. heaven forbid…. I walked out on the balcony and saw it…… a rabbit… staring back at me…. Oh boy… what am I in for now….

Until Next time……

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9 thoughts on “The Crab Conflict

  1. Lois

    LMAO, really JO? You Dad was Louisiana the seafood capital.
    I would have boiled the heck out of those crabs. Men like to pets.
    Let the guy have something.

  2. Denise Thomas

    Yah, I don’t think crabs make great pets, but it was hilarious to read about Jet trying. Also, I found it suspicious that that last one was running around after the rest were taken away. BTW, I would have been freaked out too seeing the crab running loose in your apartment.

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