Wow… when I was writing the title I kind of freaked myself out.... next month I will be 49 yrs old…. but in Chinese years I will be 50 years old, Since they celebrate a birthday every Spring Festival no matter when your birthday is during the year.
So, as 50 is a pretty big milestone I thought I would write a blog about some of the things I have learned so far in the past 50 years. I have learned so many things that a book will be needed .. however… I tried to narrow it down a bit for this blog to 10 things….
- The first thing I have learned is “Knowledge is very important.” I don’t mean it has to be university knowledge but just keep yourself open to learn new things at all times. Love can fade, Money can be taken away or lost ……but Knowledge is forever. As long as you have your knowledge you will never be hungry and you will always have a roof over your head. No one can ever take away what you know.
- There is only one “true love or soul mate” ... you will love so many people in your life. boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives; but the first person you ever fall in love with will be the one that means the most and the one that you will never forget. I was lucky enough to be able keep my soul mate in my life even though things didn’t work out between us, we still keep BFF status and will our whole lives.
- Set goals. I don’t think I would have the knowledge or the accomplishments I have now if not for the fact that I set goals. I don’t mean big lofty goals; just small goals that will take only a few months or few years to accomplish. I didn’t set one goal ……I set many and I continue to set goals for myself so I can continue improving myself.
- Take responsibility for what you say and what you do. The true measure of a person is their word and how they stand by what they do and say. If I fail at something I will admit my failures, however, I will make sure and research everything and do everything to make sure I am correct before I open my mouth in the first place. I always tell people I don’t make mistakes…. because I don’t like to apologize for them. I will make sure I check and double-check… to know my shit is straight before I speak. That is probably why I get very upset when people question what I know… because if what I say wasn’t correct I wouldn’t be saying it.
- Always do what is right. I never forced my children to choose a religion or belief.. I just told them…. if you always think to yourself….. how I would feel if it was done to me… then you will always do what is right. To this day….. I always tell myself…. What is the right thing to do?
- Haters are a sign of accomplishment. The more haters I have, the more I know I am doing something correct. They are my forms of measurement on how I am doing or how successful I am becoming. If you don’t have people out there hating on you then you ain’t doing something right. People hate because you are doing shit they cannot do….. so live for the haters baby…..
- Don’t stress about things you cannot change….. I spend many years worrying about things that really could not be changed. I have taught myself …. that if I cannot change it … change how I react to it. Things are going to happen.. hardships are apart of life… you cannot change that… but you can change yourself and how you deal with these things. That is also the same with people… you cannot change people… especially their belief systems…. but you can change how you deal with those people….. I am still working on this one… because there are times when my beliefs are very strong…. and People who go against them… basically piss me off…. but like I said… always keep learning…..
- I have learned that “sex isn’t love” and “love doesn’t always involve sex” …. I have had a lot of pain in the past years believing that people loved me … just because they had sex with me…. or told me they loved me … just to have sex with me. I have learned to separate sex and love….. Some people you meet in your life are only put there for sexual pleasure… nothing else…. as I say .. hit it and quit it….. don’t try to make relationships out of these sexual partners… that is not what they are there for .. no matter how many times you have sex with them…. They are using you…. and I have learned to use them back. Over the years I have actually started thinking like a man when it comes to sex…. it takes care of a physical need .. that’s it.
- Adapt.… I have learned that the key to survival in any country, any job, any relationship…. is to adapt. Don’t expect things to be the same as you want them to be… don’t expect people to change to fit your needs… don’t expect the world to change because you don’t feel comfortable…… you need to adapt… as I always say.. be like water and just flow…
- Finally…. When I came to this one…. I was confused on whether or not I should put take care of your health or …. hold on to friendships. Both are very important things that I have learned… but as important as taking care of your physical health is… by not drinking too much, not smoking, eating right and exercise…I think your mental health is also very important. That is where your friendships come in …. you cannot always be with your family… and you will meet people from all over the world…these friendships are important to your mental health. My friends are my family and my family are my friends. People say you only need one very good friend in your life…. but I believe you need many different kinds of friend from many different backgrounds…. then you can keep improving yourself and learning.
For now these are some things I have learned in my 50 years on this earth…. ohhh there are many , many other things I have learned about people, attitudes, sex, and even emotions but I wanted to narrow it down for this post… I will probably write another one after I think about it some more. I guess my biggest lessons learned so far.. is never stop living, never stop dreaming, never stop loving…. and never stop learning…..
until next time……