Hello boys and girls… it has been a while because I have been working very hard on finishing my book. I want to have it completed before Christmas so, time is ticking.
My book is basically about all the Asian men I have dated and just hooked up with in my life. Now since I started dating at age 15ish and I am 50ish now… that is quite a lot of dating. I also went through the “Hoe” years. I can honestly say I have dated or hooked up with someone from almost every major Asian country. Some good, Some bad, Some funny, Some strange and some sad stories will be included in the book. I have received pretty good feedback for the most part. I informed my baby daddy that he was in the book, a whole chapter but I didn’t use his name. He told me “Use my name, bitch, I want to be famous.” with his crazy ass.
I did run into one negative jab that really rubbed me the wrong way. On Facebook, I was doing a small survey to see which cover would be best for my book. I had several choices available, just to get a feel of what would attract the audience to buy it. One book cover has a photo of my husband and I on it.
Instead of just saying she preferred one cover over the other. She said” No offense (you know whenever someone starts with no offense it usually means to offend), but you should not put your face on the cover of the book because it would dissuade people of darker skin color, like myself, from buying the book if seen on the bookshelf. “
At first, I was kind of confused, I thought why would that be the case I am a black woman? Then I thought about it and figured out that she meant that I wasn’t black enough to represent black women, who date Asian men. I was terribly offended by that statement. Again my “blackness” is challenged by other women of color. I reminded her that Black women come in all hues and sizes. But She proceeds to tell me that because of my skin color I would not understand the same racism as someone darker than me. In my mind racism is racism. Just because I don’t have beautiful ebony skin doesn’t mean I don’t experience racism, especially in China. I was very angry but more hurt by the fact that because I don’t wear my natural hair and my skin is honey colored; I am not considered an equal to other Black women.
Now, my friends and family, of course, told me she was a hater and I shouldn’t listen to anything she said. But it really made me think about my life as a “Not so dark” Black woman. I have been called out on my “blackness” many time in my life. It is like I have to “prove” that I am black enough. Do I dress ethnic enough, is my speaking ethnic enough, is my behavior ethnic enough? I remember being hired as the receptionist for a Jamaican owned septic tank company in Miami. They hired me based only on the fact that I sounded “white” and would get more customers nothing else. They even told me that was why they hired me. I needed the money so I took the job anyway.
I grew up surrounded by Caucasians and so, I’m sure being in that influence has made me a bit different while growing up. However, my family is Black and the majority of my friends are from many different nationalities and ethnic groups. However, the fact that this woman mentioned my face would hurt the sales of my book, really hit a nerve.
Is this what we as a people have become? Judging people on their skin-color within our own community. Pulling people down when they are trying to better themselves? …… Why?
I am writing this book for mainly entertainment (the stories are pretty good) but also to show that Black women can date Asian men of any country if they know how to bait the hook. Also, just because she made a big deal about it… I’m leaving my face on the cover….. Because whether she likes it or not I am a proud Black woman no matter my skin tone.
until next time…..