Wow.. the end of the year .. and what a year its been…. I have had so much that has happened this year I wanted to do a kind of list of things that have happened the good, the bad and the ugly.

1) Started the year with the usual intent to do something interesting and exciting. So I became a shareholder/partner of the local bar in Bin Jiang District in Hangzhou city.  This was a good move and has proved to be a door for many things.

My Bar family

My Bar family

2) Beginning of the year I also got divorced.  This was one of those ugly things.. but it proved to be the best thing that ever happened to me.  I realized that I need to really consider my own feelings and happiness instead of focusing on making other people happy.   After the divorce I started dating and that was a whole lot of drama.

3) I got promoted at my school to Head of Student Management… but then after a month it was taken away and the position was eliminated.   That how things roll in china when you work for a Chinese company.  They will just move you up and down without a care to your career goals.

4) Started dating a guitarist and started learning guitar.  No matter how much of an asshole he turned out to be.. I still have to thank him for introducing me to the guitar… I am enjoying every minute of my learning experience.  Although I lost my free teacher, yYouTube has been a great help to me.

Brown Rice... Rock N Roll Baby

Brown Rice… Rock N Roll Baby

5) I started my own band Brown Rice… and sing rock cover songs at the bar.  I get a lot of  adrenalin from playing in a band and being the lead singer was like an impossible dream come true.  I may not be the new Joan Jett.. but I can cross that off my bucket list.

6) I became the Asst. General Manager of the bar.  Yes.. they saw the potential i had in management and the skill I have in advertising and marketing.. which I love, love, love…. that is the job I live for.   So I stepped down from being the lead singer of the band and became the band’s manager and bar manager…. while still teaching of course….(gonna keep the big money coming in)

7) I briefly dated a Chinese Biker… I am all about the wild and the crazy…. and dating a biker although short-lived was very exciting and wild..(that is basically why I had to cut it a little short… a little too wild) but made some wonderful new biker friends that will probably last a life time.IMG_5275

8) Big changes at my teaching job… the company decided to change locations to a town about an hour away from where I currently live.  I have to ride the bus…. to and from work.. an hour each way … everyday…. Makes me consider some career changes.

My first big tattoo... Black Orchids... (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)

My first big tattoo… Black Orchids… (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)

9) I got some new tattoos.. yep.. I am a tattooed bitch.. the cool thing about tattoos is that you can control what you want to put on your body.. and it doesn’t matter what anyone says… it’s very freeing.

10) Met the current man of my dreams….. Jet… a former gangster turn good… and a man who will do anything to keep me happy.  The sweetest kindest man.. I have ever met in my life honestly. If I was ever going to marry again… in the far, far, far future… this would be the man.

My man... Jet Liu

My man… Jet Liu

11) I decided to by an ebike.. yep.. after living in china for now 8 years.. I broke down and bought an electric bike.. that everyone rides here.. Jet taught me to ride it properly and now I am riding like a …. BOSS!

12) Found out that my recently divorced ex-husband remarried six months after our divorce.  Kind of quick?  Maybe that tells me that he had someone on the side.  He married a local Chinese girl… I don’t wish him bad luck.. but Karma.. my have other ideas.

13) I decided to do my own business here in China.. it is very complicated to know all the freakin’ rules here.. but with some very good “relationships” that I have formed over the years.. and my stud by my side….. I am going to get this done.  I have started putting together a clothing line.. for club wear.. ladies that are Divas… in charge of their lives.   People who are proud of their bodies no matter what size they are.  My new company is called “Dragon Designs”  I am going to be selling on and… and working on my own site.

My inspiration for my company name... Jet's amazing dragon tattoo..

My inspiration for my company name… Jet’s amazing dragon tattoo..

I am really trying to start preparing for my future retirement business.  Oh know I will never stop working and stop experiencing life.. I just can’t that would be crazy.  I am now deciding on which country to retire in.   I am thinking either Malaysia, Philippines, or Colombia, South America.  Whether I eventually marry Jet or not… that is my plan.   Why not come back to the states? Well, I have realized that my life has improve tremendously since I move away… and I feel less stressed and less overwhelmed.   I love my country and I will never give up being American… I love being American.. and I will visit my family as much as I can… but  for me… living abroad is a good thing.  And from what I can see on the news these days a little safer.  I hope to bring my kids to visit me when I retire… for now I will visit them in the states every year or so.

So that’s kind of my life in review over that past year… there has been some crazy moments.. and some great  times. I have met many great people and did some great performances, like when I dresses as an avenging angel on Halloween.

Halloween 2014.. at the Bar... great performance

Halloween 2014.. at the Bar… great performance

What will the New year bring?  Hopefully… more love, joy and happiness.  I also hope there will be great success in my new business venture.  I have learned to live life to the fullest and not to worry about what others say about you.. but… Honey…. You only have this life.. make it Amazing…..Boo

Until Next Time…..

Jet and I have been having a heated discussion on whether I am going thru menopause or not…. I say I am just working too much .. he says I am going thru menopause.…..Honestly.. I don’t know… How does one know they are going thru menopause?   Is there a sign?… I feel normal…. they say in menopause you have hot and cold flashes… but I don’t have those… they say you cant sleep well…. I usually sleep fine...(although, I don’t sleep much…busy working) .. and the biggest thing .. lower sex drive…. now this part is true.. my sex drive is lower than before…. I use to have sex 5 to 6 times a week… now it is 5 time a month…. yeah.. I know… big drop… but I work three jobs…. so I am very tired.  But he thinks …. I am more moody and lower sex…. it must be menopause.45478185eaiec_sm

Is this what men do… as soon as something changes it is menopause as the excuse… it seems to be in China.  My friends also get this from their spouses….. whenever they are in a bad mood or don’t want sex… the big “M” word comes out…. give me a break.

I am busy with my professional life… I honestly forget to have sex…. and this may sound crazy .. since I have such an attractive man…. I miss being single…. no-no no… don’t get me wrong.. I love Jet.. and would trade him for the world…. but .. when I was single… I could have sex whenever I wanted .. with who ever I wanted.   If I want to go to the bar and pick up someone new .. I could… now… I don’t have the variety anymore….  This doesn’t mean I am going to go cheat or that I am not going to be with Jet…. I am not going to mess up the good relationship I have.   I just think it has changed my interest in sex.    I also think I am older…. not that much be my needs have changed…… is that Menopause?…. (now he has me thinking about it)…..

I feel… my sex drive is just as strong as ever…. I just need to stop working so much…. I think the stress of my professional life has hindered my sex life… and the moodiness…. well I have always been moody… so that is nothing new….ha-ha

But just in case….maybe I should do some research on Menopause…. I am turning 47 next year…. i need to be ready….


until next time….

This is my 8th winter in China…..and every winter I tell myself that I will be ready… I order many pairs of socks, and leggings with fur inside.  I get more sweaters and clean all my winter blankets to get them ready.  Every year I tell myself…. I will not be cold and I will handle this like a champ.

This pre-winter was no exception.  I got everything ready to prepare for the China Winter season.   As with every winter thus far … I am again freezing my ass off.04snow-span-600

I don’t know what it is…. I just can never get warm in this freaking place.   I have floor heaters, scarves, gloves and hats… I layer my clothes and even break down and drink hot water… but I can never get warm enough.  It doesn’t help that everywhere I go.. every Chinese person opens a window… to let in “fresh air” …. which is ironic since Chinese has some of the highest pollution levels in the world.   I even have to remind everyday to shut the freaking windows….

At school is worse…. I am lucky enough to have heat in the classrooms and office.. however that heat has to be shared with students and co-workers… and it seems that they don’t feel the cold like I do.  However, when I walk through the hallways of our extremely large (someone is over compensating) school building .. its like I am walking through a winter wonderland.  Its freezing… all the doors and windows are open and its a damp cold… so the floors are all slippery with moisture…. so not only am I cold… i need to balance so I don’t fall all over the place.Humble-Administrator-s-Garden-in-winter

Its just too damn cold …. now if you look at the temperature.. its only about 25 degrees…. so they say that isn’t very cold why are you complaining…. but i have to remind people that the walls are cement, the floors are cement and there is no insulation whatsoever in anything, so we work and live in CAVES… like animals.    What is wrong with these people?

Of course I choose the seat by the sliding glass door off the balcony in our office .. because I wanted the view and the sunshine in the spring and summer months… however, come winter and fall…. the little Chinese people will come and open .. said door and tell me … they need fresh air…. I say… I don’t need the flu… shut the damn door.  They just giggle and walk away…. but the door is still open….!!!!

So you see me .. in the office at school… wearing … hat, scarf, gloves (typing with gloves is not easy) and a big coat on.  I look like I am about to travel to Alaska…. but actually I am only going to class to educate the future leaders of china. images

So my advice people…. if you are every coming to china… in the months of November to March….. which is the peak winter months….. my best suggestion would be…. wait until spring…..


until next time…..

Life behind the wall

Find out how life can be for a Black American woman married to a Chinese man behind the Great Wall of China.

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March 2013

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