Life Behind The Wall

Thoughts and Experiences of a Black American Woman in China

2014: Year in Review

Wow.. the end of the year .. and what a year its been…. I have had so much that has happened this year I wanted to do a kind of list of things that have happened the good, the bad and the ugly.

1) Started the year with the usual intent to do something interesting and exciting. So I became a shareholder/partner of the local bar in Bin Jiang District in Hangzhou city.  This was a good move and has proved to be a door for many things.

My Bar family
My Bar family

2) Beginning of the year I also got divorced.  This was one of those ugly things.. but it proved to be the best thing that ever happened to me.  I realized that I need to really consider my own feelings and happiness instead of focusing on making other people happy.   After the divorce I started dating and that was a whole lot of drama.

3) I got promoted at my school to Head of Student Management… but then after a month it was taken away and the position was eliminated.   That how things roll in china when you work for a Chinese company.  They will just move you up and down without a care to your career goals.

4) Started dating a guitarist and started learning guitar.  No matter how much of an asshole he turned out to be.. I still have to thank him for introducing me to the guitar… I am enjoying every minute of my learning experience.  Although I lost my free teacher, yYouTube has been a great help to me.

Brown Rice... Rock N Roll Baby
Brown Rice… Rock N Roll Baby

5) I started my own band Brown Rice… and sing rock cover songs at the bar.  I get a lot of  adrenalin from playing in a band and being the lead singer was like an impossible dream come true.  I may not be the new Joan Jett.. but I can cross that off my bucket list.

6) I became the Asst. General Manager of the bar.  Yes.. they saw the potential i had in management and the skill I have in advertising and marketing.. which I love, love, love…. that is the job I live for.   So I stepped down from being the lead singer of the band and became the band’s manager and bar manager…. while still teaching of course….(gonna keep the big money coming in)

7) I briefly dated a Chinese Biker… I am all about the wild and the crazy…. and dating a biker although short-lived was very exciting and wild..(that is basically why I had to cut it a little short… a little too wild) but made some wonderful new biker friends that will probably last a life time.IMG_5275

8) Big changes at my teaching job… the company decided to change locations to a town about an hour away from where I currently live.  I have to ride the bus…. to and from work.. an hour each way … everyday…. Makes me consider some career changes.

My first big tattoo... Black Orchids... (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)
My first big tattoo… Black Orchids… (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)

9) I got some new tattoos.. yep.. I am a tattooed bitch.. the cool thing about tattoos is that you can control what you want to put on your body.. and it doesn’t matter what anyone says… it’s very freeing.

10) Met the current man of my dreams….. Jet… a former gangster turn good… and a man who will do anything to keep me happy.  The sweetest kindest man.. I have ever met in my life honestly. If I was ever going to marry again… in the far, far, far future… this would be the man.

My man... Jet Liu
My man… Jet Liu

11) I decided to by an ebike.. yep.. after living in china for now 8 years.. I broke down and bought an electric bike.. that everyone rides here.. Jet taught me to ride it properly and now I am riding like a …. BOSS!

12) Found out that my recently divorced ex-husband remarried six months after our divorce.  Kind of quick?  Maybe that tells me that he had someone on the side.  He married a local Chinese girl… I don’t wish him bad luck.. but Karma.. my have other ideas.

13) I decided to do my own business here in China.. it is very complicated to know all the freakin’ rules here.. but with some very good “relationships” that I have formed over the years.. and my stud by my side….. I am going to get this done.  I have started putting together a clothing line.. for club wear.. ladies that are Divas… in charge of their lives.   People who are proud of their bodies no matter what size they are.  My new company is called “Dragon Designs”  I am going to be selling on and… and working on my own site.

My inspiration for my company name... Jet's amazing dragon tattoo..
My inspiration for my company name… Jet’s amazing dragon tattoo..

I am really trying to start preparing for my future retirement business.  Oh know I will never stop working and stop experiencing life.. I just can’t that would be crazy.  I am now deciding on which country to retire in.   I am thinking either Malaysia, Philippines, or Colombia, South America.  Whether I eventually marry Jet or not… that is my plan.   Why not come back to the states? Well, I have realized that my life has improve tremendously since I move away… and I feel less stressed and less overwhelmed.   I love my country and I will never give up being American… I love being American.. and I will visit my family as much as I can… but  for me… living abroad is a good thing.  And from what I can see on the news these days a little safer.  I hope to bring my kids to visit me when I retire… for now I will visit them in the states every year or so.

So that’s kind of my life in review over that past year… there has been some crazy moments.. and some great  times. I have met many great people and did some great performances, like when I dresses as an avenging angel on Halloween.

Halloween 2014.. at the Bar... great performance
Halloween 2014.. at the Bar… great performance

What will the New year bring?  Hopefully… more love, joy and happiness.  I also hope there will be great success in my new business venture.  I have learned to live life to the fullest and not to worry about what others say about you.. but… Honey…. You only have this life.. make it Amazing…..Boo

Until Next Time…..

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Drama Drama and More Drama

I never thought I would be one of those people that would say “these kids today” at the beginning of any sentence but these young people today just have no respect for their elders. 

As you know, I started a wechat group 8 years ago to help black women and other women from abroad adjust to china and give them support and advice when needed. It has been very successful and many ladies have came and went and enhanced their china experience. 

The last two years there were some black women added that seemed to bully people whenever there was a difference of opinion. It got to the point that whenever I tried to give advice they started double teaming me and attacking me. Other women were leaving the group because of the negativity. They were Telling me that just because I was old doesn’t mean I know anything and even stating that how I raised my kids doesn’t matter because that was the old days. Seriously?

When did people stop respecting people that have experience and knowledge? When did 48 become an old woman? 

Now, I’m and I quote ” a bitter, 50 year old dried up hag, that doesn’t have a clue what she is talking about” (shakin’ my head). This from a girl whose job is to do hair. 

So, I have left my own group. I made that decision because if I would have deleted them out of the group I would have been told it wasn’t fair. So I choose to leave. Can’t deal with high school drama. 

They good thing is my husband made my Valentines Day so special that it helped me forget this drama for awhile. 

Always remember, not everyone is gonna like you ….you aren’t money!!

Until next time…

So busy making changes …

Boys and girls, I know I have been slacking on the blogging but I have been very busy making life changes.  It seems every couple of years I decide to upset things by making drastic changes to my life. Call me crazy or adventurous or just plain stupid; but I always seem to add more chaos to my already chaotic life. 

Recently, I moved to Yiwu… and a few blogs back I made the decision to stay on with this company and stick it out for the contract. Well, the contract is over in June and thankfully because I am ready to go.  They have found ways to avoid paying me full salary every month and they have too many little Chinese girls running around here risking their lives trying to boss me around when they have no power. They don’t know me…They ain’t ready! They even had the nerve to deduct my salary when another foreign teacher from Africa didn’t come to work. Like I control when people choose to show up for work.  He said “I should manage better” whattttt????  I have to manage people from 7 different countries, backgrounds, and cultures; none of them American. He is lucky I can keep them all respectful and polite to one another while they do their jobs. 

I have decided that I’m done with teaching —10 yrs is enough. I’m tired of dealing with the “powers that be” who do not understand how to run a school or manage employees. I’m tired of working 9 hour days, 6 days a week, ….I’m basically just tired. 

So, I’m going to continue my online business, which is found well and I’m going to freelance corporate English training.  

I’m the boss now, Bitches!!!  #NowWhat??!!!

I think I’m ready. I have been in China long enough and I have all kinds of connections and opportunities. Hell, I’m pretty fabulous if you ask me!! My hubby is supportive 100% and I’m motivated to get this underway. Change is good….and at age 48 ….I’m gonna shake up some shit. 

Wish me luck people…it’s gonna be bumpy. 
Until next time…

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