Wow.. the end of the year .. and what a year its been…. I have had so much that has happened this year I wanted to do a kind of list of things that have happened the good, the bad and the ugly.

1) Started the year with the usual intent to do something interesting and exciting. So I became a shareholder/partner of the local bar in Bin Jiang District in Hangzhou city.  This was a good move and has proved to be a door for many things.

My Bar family

My Bar family

2) Beginning of the year I also got divorced.  This was one of those ugly things.. but it proved to be the best thing that ever happened to me.  I realized that I need to really consider my own feelings and happiness instead of focusing on making other people happy.   After the divorce I started dating and that was a whole lot of drama.

3) I got promoted at my school to Head of Student Management… but then after a month it was taken away and the position was eliminated.   That how things roll in china when you work for a Chinese company.  They will just move you up and down without a care to your career goals.

4) Started dating a guitarist and started learning guitar.  No matter how much of an asshole he turned out to be.. I still have to thank him for introducing me to the guitar… I am enjoying every minute of my learning experience.  Although I lost my free teacher, yYouTube has been a great help to me.

Brown Rice... Rock N Roll Baby

Brown Rice… Rock N Roll Baby

5) I started my own band Brown Rice… and sing rock cover songs at the bar.  I get a lot of  adrenalin from playing in a band and being the lead singer was like an impossible dream come true.  I may not be the new Joan Jett.. but I can cross that off my bucket list.

6) I became the Asst. General Manager of the bar.  Yes.. they saw the potential i had in management and the skill I have in advertising and marketing.. which I love, love, love…. that is the job I live for.   So I stepped down from being the lead singer of the band and became the band’s manager and bar manager…. while still teaching of course….(gonna keep the big money coming in)

7) I briefly dated a Chinese Biker… I am all about the wild and the crazy…. and dating a biker although short-lived was very exciting and wild..(that is basically why I had to cut it a little short… a little too wild) but made some wonderful new biker friends that will probably last a life time.IMG_5275

8) Big changes at my teaching job… the company decided to change locations to a town about an hour away from where I currently live.  I have to ride the bus…. to and from work.. an hour each way … everyday…. Makes me consider some career changes.

My first big tattoo... Black Orchids... (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)

My first big tattoo… Black Orchids… (also my chinese name.. Hei Lan)

9) I got some new tattoos.. yep.. I am a tattooed bitch.. the cool thing about tattoos is that you can control what you want to put on your body.. and it doesn’t matter what anyone says… it’s very freeing.

10) Met the current man of my dreams….. Jet… a former gangster turn good… and a man who will do anything to keep me happy.  The sweetest kindest man.. I have ever met in my life honestly. If I was ever going to marry again… in the far, far, far future… this would be the man.

My man... Jet Liu

My man… Jet Liu

11) I decided to by an ebike.. yep.. after living in china for now 8 years.. I broke down and bought an electric bike.. that everyone rides here.. Jet taught me to ride it properly and now I am riding like a …. BOSS!

12) Found out that my recently divorced ex-husband remarried six months after our divorce.  Kind of quick?  Maybe that tells me that he had someone on the side.  He married a local Chinese girl… I don’t wish him bad luck.. but Karma.. my have other ideas.

13) I decided to do my own business here in China.. it is very complicated to know all the freakin’ rules here.. but with some very good “relationships” that I have formed over the years.. and my stud by my side….. I am going to get this done.  I have started putting together a clothing line.. for club wear.. ladies that are Divas… in charge of their lives.   People who are proud of their bodies no matter what size they are.  My new company is called “Dragon Designs”  I am going to be selling on and… and working on my own site.

My inspiration for my company name... Jet's amazing dragon tattoo..

My inspiration for my company name… Jet’s amazing dragon tattoo..

I am really trying to start preparing for my future retirement business.  Oh know I will never stop working and stop experiencing life.. I just can’t that would be crazy.  I am now deciding on which country to retire in.   I am thinking either Malaysia, Philippines, or Colombia, South America.  Whether I eventually marry Jet or not… that is my plan.   Why not come back to the states? Well, I have realized that my life has improve tremendously since I move away… and I feel less stressed and less overwhelmed.   I love my country and I will never give up being American… I love being American.. and I will visit my family as much as I can… but  for me… living abroad is a good thing.  And from what I can see on the news these days a little safer.  I hope to bring my kids to visit me when I retire… for now I will visit them in the states every year or so.

So that’s kind of my life in review over that past year… there has been some crazy moments.. and some great  times. I have met many great people and did some great performances, like when I dresses as an avenging angel on Halloween.

Halloween 2014.. at the Bar... great performance

Halloween 2014.. at the Bar… great performance

What will the New year bring?  Hopefully… more love, joy and happiness.  I also hope there will be great success in my new business venture.  I have learned to live life to the fullest and not to worry about what others say about you.. but… Honey…. You only have this life.. make it Amazing…..Boo

Until Next Time…..

Hi everybody…. (in my 2 broke girls Sophie voice)

scratching lotto tickets to try my luck...

scratching lotto tickets to try my luck…

I am here to update you on all the changes going on… I know you are thinking there are always things changing in my life… but honestly things in China or actually any foreign country are never very stable when you are and expat.

So after much blood, sweat and tears… I decided to stay in Hangzhou… it also helped that my boss offered me a raise, and management position to stay.  Jet and I moved to a new apartment, bigger and with new memories.  Did not like the negative energy in the old place… after all my divorce and single dating life was all in that apartment.  Jet being Jet… found the place, rented the place, moved all my stuff and unpacked and put everything away… while I was working. (I only had to move a few things)  He put all rent, utilities and internet in my name…. (I’m a little anal about feeling I am living under someone else’s roof.) just me and never wanting to live with a man… but the man living with me.   security issues I guess.

That being done… now time to catch up on a little debt.   Borrowed a small amount of money to start a business and other issues and now I need to pay it all back…. should be debt free in a few months.

Been feeling a little down lately…. nothing really wrong…just more tired than usual.   My body is fine… it is my mind that is tired.  I am not as active as before… maybe I am getting older… or maybe I am settling into relationship life.

I don’t feel like checking on the bar, I don’t feel like doing much of anything…. lately…. burnt out maybe…. ?? I don’t know.


I do want to write another book… lately I have been helping a lot of new comers here in china with the dating scene.  It seems I am a wealth of knowledge when it comes to dating chinese men.  So, I want to write a book about it… not just chinese men.. but all the men I have dated in my life… it is a very interesting tale… and I have a lot of stories to tell.   Just working on where to start….

Maybe that will perk me up… and get me motivated again…. I think I need something……to excite me…

The kids are better…. daughter seeing her daughter again.. although there is still drama… and a court date coming… Son making it day by day with his depression… good he recognizes when he needs to talk.

Things are pretty regular… right now…..I get a little more aggravated with people than before… maybe my patience is shot by living here so long…. or maybe I am turning into one of those mean old women… hummmm

As for the business… working on a few other ideas…that are not so complicated and expensive…. I will figure out something….

until next time…..

Wow… what a run I have had….. there are so many things to say… not sure I can fit them all in one blog… but i will try.  Lets start off with an apology… someone once said.. the longer you stay in china the less things you have to blog about….that is kind of true…. but I think it more routine things get and you feel it is not as important as it once was.


I went home this last march to visit my kids and family in the states… I call it my Midwest tour.  I saw my son and his kids in Illinois… then traveled by train to Missouri to visit my uncles, sister, brother and cousins… then traveled by bus to Nebraska to visit my daughter and her daughter… then headed back to Illinois by train and then back home to china.  It was a long exhausting trip… with a lot of traveling but I got to see most of the people I needed to see.  I did feel like a fish out of water at times… but it was awesome to be able to speak to some local Chinese people over there and see them shocked with my ability to speak Chinese.

I also had some relationship difficulties with my current muscle man, Jet…. but… we have worked through those hard times and are back on track for a successful future and life. Some times cultural things get in the way of trying to be happy.  We have learned that we have to respect each others ideals and remember the reason we love each other.  There may be wedding bells in the future….. we will see

I have decided to make some changes and move to Shanghai…. i know.. huge city….expensive city… but for my boyfriend to find decent employment…. that will not only help him but me also in the long run for stability and security…. we need to move.  He need to feel he is taking care of me…. and I need to feel he is putting in his part… so finding employment for me is quit easy…. so I need to support him.  Anyway… in Chinese tradition… whatever money he makes is mine anyway… so might as well have him making as much as he can….


There are still small things I need to tackle… like my current job… the bar… my online business….. and finding a job… Life is full of changes and adventures… so I just look at this as another adventure or chapter in my life.

I did get a offer to move back to Yuyao and open a school with my old boss… this seemed like the perfect thing for me… however, i realized that they were still the planning stages… and that it would be small children 3 to 7 yrs.  which is not my forte… since I hate all kids but my own.

we will see where life takes me….. there are always nooks and crannies that i fall into along the way.

All in All, things are going pretty well… in China…. in the States.. my daughter had baby daddy drama… even got arrested for assault… because her baby daddy accused her of slapping him and he called the police…. my son is dealing with a bit of depression… and trying to over come that… and my son’s father died yesterday…. at 40… so makes me look at my mortality…. and my future…… and so far… my future looks bright…..

until next time….

Life behind the wall

Find out how life can be for a Black American woman married to a Chinese man behind the Great Wall of China.

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March 2013

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